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In Extremis

Of all the faces I have ever seen,
Your's is the one I remember in my dreams,
Of all the places that I've ever been,
I recall each moment like yesterday in extreme.

I've seen those angels dancing in your eyes,
Wing tip to wing tip they peal back your disguise,
I've heard a thousand voices raised up in one chorus to the sky,
Still I'm left holding on to wonder why!

As time reminds us how far we've traveled down this road,
Each horizon we encounter the less we have to hold,
As our lives are measured by the distance that we've come,
And the strands of all our hopes are untwisted and slowly left undone.

I've heard the whispers in your voice,
Telling me we have no choice,
And everything we strive for is in vain,
I've listened to the emptiness that you spoke,
And the spell that you invoked,
To hide the reality of your name.

Of all the magic that I've seen you perform,
Your disappearance from my life was too much for me to mourn,
The distance over the pain I had to feel,
To see reflected back at me like chrome plated steel.

I felt the time just slip away,
As minutes turned to hours then to days,
And the years keep slipping by my door,
I watched the darkness in you grow,
'til there was nowhere else for you to go,
And I could take no more of your pain...

Author notes

this song is primarily written about the death of my father; among others...

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • trekkergirl
    May 13

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    nicely written poem/song. Good job. Flows well, uses imagery well. thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.


  • emo001
    June 12, 2008
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    thanks


  • NeonRose
    April 17, 2008
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    This is deeply moving, and beautiful. Congratulations on winning the Gold.


  • Beatles Girl
    April 9, 2008

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    I was a little shocked when I saw this appear on my contest! I read it not ten minutes before I started the contest I love it.


  • faithwhisperer silver member
    April 8, 2008
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    What a lovely write! I appreciate so many of your thoughts here. Thanks for your entry!


  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    April 8, 2008

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    Great substance of heart came through

    Okay yes, I can see why the rhyming comment below is a valid one. I'm not really clear on the rules myself to be honest, just try to feel my way with what falls into place nicely. Anyway this didn't stop me from finding great substance in your poem. For me it conjured up large feelings within a personal relationship, but importantly I feel, managed to also be an archetypal one which can be universally related to. I think that's a great thing. A relationship of such deep love and yet proportionate burden at the same time. A relationship that constantly demands an impossible reconciling, which is made more possible and achievable after a 'passing away'. I feel it best to believe in this possibility of reconciliation while still in life, however, I too found it like this regarding my relationship with my step-father, who I loved very deeply. The weight of meaning for me over-rode anything else in this, but this is what I personally look for and I don't have such trained eye for issues which could well bring this piece to even 'more success'! I'd much like to see it again if you do further with it. Sol


  • reckless abandon
    July 14, 2007

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    I like the feeling in this. But the rhyming was all over the place. Thanks for entering the contest!

    -KP]


  • StarEyes
    June 13, 2007

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    What a great read this is!! Heartwrenching!!! I lost my dad just over two years ago, and can soooo relate. Best of luck in the contest we are both in.


  • Twilight4Eternity
    May 23, 2007

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    such a sad and meaningful piece. I especially liked the fourth stanza. A painful ending as well. Nice job.

1 - 9 of 9