The veil brushing my face is the mask you found me behind,
your fingers lift it gently away
just as you took off my mask that day
and revealed to me the Love I held inside.
You take my hand in yours in the glow of our Moon,
the night creatures witness the vows we share together,
to love one another for always and forever,
we will be bound in Love as Husband and Wife soon.
I will give you everything I hold within
with you I'll laugh, make love, and cry,
sharing with you thoughts, whispers, and softly passionate sighs,
your grace redeeming my past failings and sins.
We fit together perfectly, not a flaw nor a mistake,
we know each other by every stroke, our minds working as one,
we share our deepest secrets, unfamiliarities number none,
I thank the Moon and Stars for you each day that I awake.
You are deep in my heart now, all doubts and fears are set aside,
you hold all of me in your arms, you know I'll never leave,
we were meant to find each other, in my heart I do truly believe,
I promise to love and cherish you, as your blushing bride.
Author notes
The rhyme scheme is a bit confusing. In each stanza, the first and fourth, and second and third lines rhyme. Enjoy. =)
A contest entry
- vows by patsoldcat.
700 points, ended May 26, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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What love and delight in your words this was a good poem.To find someone you love so much is a blessing.GOOD!!!
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this is a great poem.
good luck with your writting.
Thank you for your comment.
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great
this is exactly what this contest was about
if i were standing at the alter i would be so happy to hear these. such love and commitment
great
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opps forgot again
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aww so sweet and full of love
it makes one wounder if that is really how marriage should be
I know it is in dreams but in this cold reality noone really means half the crap they say and feed to people everyday. -
That was so beautiful and well written. I felt the love and commitment from the start! Such a precious promise shared between two precious souls!
Blessed be...
Azlyn
Could not have been more beautiful!!!!
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ok first off at this point i haven't even read your poem yet and i know its going to be sloppy And a lil scattered, thats ok, but in the future you might want to try stanzas, i was reluctant to at first but masses of words like this make the reader disgruntled and unhappy from my experience.*reads* i was right...your form is off, your meeter is broken a lot, your rhyme is scattered and your emotional conviction to this poem is questionable...im not knocking your poetry, understand. it has great potential. your imagery is impeccable, but the continuous break in flow and rythem make it hard and fustrating to read...i had to force myself thought it. you have an awesome ability to paint a picture, you just need the right brush. good luck and don't be discouraged, keep writing and live in the moment.
Josh Rain. -
thank you
blessings and luck -
this was so sweet. this has the awww factor x 6585685...your rhyme scheme was well utilized but not distacting from the meaning of the work, which is not always easy to accomplish especially when one falls into the the sing songy rhyme all the time...
(i'm not married nor do i plan to be any time soon) but i can totally relate to lines 3 and 4...the boy i'm dating right now sounds alot like the guy in the poem, which made me smile. All around it was a nice, endearing read, thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest!!!!!
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Romantic.
So who's the lucky beau?
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