Poignant and sinister,
He caresses me.
Stepping to no music, he seduces me.
In my head, his voice ringing deep,
Once upon a Macabre Dance.
Someone brings my head to rest,
Smelling the Bleeding Heart perched on his chest.
Sacrilegious and sinning sweet.
His knife slipped through the sheets.
The Sun gently secedes,
Night comes forth, and we’re in a dream.
Copper wine spills unto me,
And I bathe in this Gory Jubilee.
Once upon a Macabre Dance,
I sold my soul to the Devil.
On his bed, I commenced in a Reluctant Revel.
With a knife, he sealed the deal.
And with no music, our Seductive Steps end.
Once upon a Macabre Dance.
Author notes
Picture: photobucket.com/albums/r195/spankyduwac/prod_891_30263.jpg
A contest entry
- A Love as dark as the Devil Himself by TheDemonEve.
450 points, ended June 2, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Fairies {Pic inspired} by Nobody Royale.
675 points, ended July 18, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Deep Dark Thoughts by FleetingImage.
330 points, ended August 11, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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damn caitlyn that was pretty fuckin sweet! definitely write more like it.
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This poem was so power it made my heart sing i liked it so much i read it twice...good luck
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scared to ask the inspiration
so dark not even a shadow could be there
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Wow, such a deep and dark write about love and death! Excellent imagery and emotion. You have such a gift with the written word
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very nice. i liked the third stanza very much. good use of symetry and metaphor.
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FUCK YES!
SHIT!!! I LOVE THIS! I adore the references to sex and death, violence and lust. ESPECIALLY USING A KNIFE as sort of the symbolic weapon......it can be feared and/or it can be a tool of romance and sexuality. APPLAUSE AND KUDOS ON THIS WONDERFULLY DARK, TWITSED YET BRILLIANT WRITE! Here, have some of these:
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Thanks for your exciting comments! I love good feedback!
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Nice mix of devices like repetition to accent a certain importance to the dance. I feel it could have been a bit darker though, alluding to more gory happenings, but that perhaps would have left an awry taste. Props.
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this one was yours?! OH CRAP!!! I absolutely LOVED This one!!!!!
T_T -
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Yes...no one else's. lol
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OMG!
I wanted this one to win!! I was being a ditz!!! next contest I run...be sure to enter!! -
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I'll be sure to. ^^
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Creepy Good
This is dark....lovely penned. Very descriptive. I'm sure you pass all your creative writing classes... ACES! I pray though you have not danced with that snake....lol!
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I promise I haven't!!
Hahaha!
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Wicked!
This is seductive, evocative. I like the repetition of Once upona Macabre Dance. Congratulations on the gold, it is well deserved.
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I LOVE THIS PEICE!! It gives me everything I WANTED!!! Thank you Thank you!!
<3 Felip
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Thank you so much! I enjoyed writing it. It's a shame I didn't win, but being a finalist was enough for me. ^^
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loved the dark tone of this piece...very well written...most moving line
On his bed, I commenced in a Reluctant Revel.
With a knife he sealed the deal.
well done...good luck and thank you for your entry -
i danced with the devil once...hes got two left feet...gave me hell of a sore toe!!...aplogises! onto the seriosuness...wowness!! really really like this poem!! thank you for entering, i enjoyed reading!! take care, Sam (Dreams27)xxxxxxxx
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Simply superb. Lovely. This is what this contest is about!!!!
Best of luck and thanks for entering! -
Can I steal some of your talent?
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BRAVO
I like this. So many emotions scream from such a veiled poem. The simple words suggest so many dark deeds. This is most tasteful and talented. Lovely.
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this was great
now i shall ask you for your hand let me take you from this. he does not own you for i shall trade your soul for mine i shall take his knife and spare you. from his trickery and sin.
lovely write you are most talented.
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