I see a silver lining glimmering before me
The shape of an angel approaching to save me
The words you speak gently caress my broken skin
Healing my wounds and unlocking my caged heart within
The demons which once haunted my pleasant nights
Are now banished by the tender delight
Of your soothing touch, your soft sweet smile
Teaches me to allow the inner child
To grow. The shadows which danced upon the roof
Now hide from the light shone by the angel of love
The gentle lullaby your eyes sing to me
Will forever soothe the ache within me
The way your words embrace my soul
Shows me myself without the lingering shadow
You tease the secrets I’ve locked away
To reveal themselves to you. Each day
Your name echoes within my core
As I long to be with you for ever more
Author notes
this was originally part of a longer piece going by the same title, but I didn't like the opening so I've chopped it off...I used a bit of enjambement (i think..) in order to make some of the lines half rhyme, but im unsure if its effective and works, id appreciate any comments you may have there...thanks for reading xx
A contest entry
- Mystery Rounds Contest! - Round 1 by EmeraldDreams.
300 points, ended May 31, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I think your half rhyme works really well here. i love the flow to the piece, and the way the poem is full of emotion and feeling. thanks for the entry and good luck.
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Excellent
LOL Sweet Sam has done it again! You have penned a marvelous poem here and I really love how you just penned this all round. very well written all round and its just amazing at what comes from the musing land of Sweet Sam. any ways great poem all round and keep on penning away those very beautiful precious poems we all love. P.S. Individuality is correct and he knows what he is talking about
*Hug* 
Signed, Paul
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a good flow, works well, i did not stumble anywwhere in the poem when reading it, good emotions given out.
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thank you very much xxx
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i think this works really well actually, i dont know what the original poem was like, but i think you made the right decision by cutting off the beginning because this is a really good poem and i like your rhyming scheme its good there were parts that sounded a little awkward but they weren't that bad to effect the poem itself. good job i like it
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Very good
and I like the opening lines
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