in colors bright from life that she has known;
descent is hers in gloried fall from trees
as journey seems to be one of alone.
In thought, her wisp remembers her sweet time
from bud on branch to drink the spring of day
in fond expanse to leaf on tree in climb
with spread of wings upon the wind in sway.
So gentle brittle crumble tumbles down
to settle with her sisters on brown earth
that soon will mingle robes and golden crown
in restful sleep again until rebirth.
As birth through life weaves stories to be told
the hands of time grow seasons to enfold.
In a list
A contest entry
- BATTLE OF THE SONNETS---ROUND 1 by mamad.
400 points, ended June 3, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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So Good
This is a great piece, I will study it with some others to learn the way of writing one that is good, I can notcompete but I want to know how.


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Thank you for your kind comment. I always find sonnet quite difficult and this one comes from my beginning learning stages. This contest was an eye opener to say the least and I will always see mamad as the best sonnet instructor on this site. I look at this now and see so many edits I should make.
the in's must go~ LOL
You are so kind with your words. Thank you so much.
~Pamela
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Thank You I will learn the sonnet.
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Then come back and coach me. LOL I need it.
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Wonderful!
Wow! I really like this one. The third quatrain seems especially vivid to me. This feels so much like a warm, loving embrace of the patterns of life and death: ("to settle with her sisters on brown earth / that soon will mingle robes and golden crown / in restful sleep again until rebirth." )
I had fun reading the alliteration in: "So gentle brittle crumble tumbles down", and it says so much in so few words.
Very lovely. A well-crafted sonnet.

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Thank you again. Fun to read these again myself. So pleased you enjoyed this and the gentle brittle crumble tumbling. Wow. Tongue twister almost. LOL. You are so king with your comments. thank you. ~Pamela
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This is a beautifully crafted sonnet.
You have wonderfully explained the seasonal changes with some vivid imagery.




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Thank you so much.
~Pamela
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This is a magnificient piece of poetry

I love the rhyme and flow of this
english
sonnet

The transitions Between the season's
are weaved together with fine penning
I'm so glad Ive read this one.



tony

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tony
Thank you so much. Wow, you are digging way back into my beginning sonnets. I learned so much in this competition. Sonnets are not quite as easy as they first appeared. LOL. You are too kind with your wonderful words. Thank you.
~Pamela
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Just beautiful.........
Since I love to read and write about nature, this is pure euphoria for me to read. You composed this with masterful skill. Bravo!!!!!

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knight70
Thank you so very much. I am so pleased for your comment. Thank you.
~Pamela
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Ahh! Such a beautiful elegance you have with these forms. I have not been able to compose a sonnet as of yet and I do so enjoy reading the ones that you compose.
Your sonnets sing with impeccable rhythm~
ALways an enjoyable experience visiting your poetry.

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~lk~
Thank you so much for your lovely and most kind words. I appreciate them so much.
~Pam
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That is a nice sonnet i like the meter very smooth and you are clear in you poem There is some nice imagery also.


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jeff swan
Thank you so much.
I am pleased you enjoyed this sonnet. ~Pamela
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Excellent
Oh my what a great use of the form. A beautiful sonnet. Good luck in the contest.
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penman
Thank you so much. You know, I about beat my brains in working these sonnets. Much more difficult than they appear. I am very pleased for your comment here. Thank you so much.
~Pamela
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Wonderful
I think of life as if a leaf and use the analogy often.

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Wandika
Thank you Jim.
~Pamela
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Pam,
What a wonderful time I just had as I floated through the seasons of your fabulous sonnet. I feel so peaceful after reading that. sigh You never have a word out of place and this was no exception, the elegance of your verbiage creating such beautiful imagery. You chose a lovely subject to write this one and the metaphors are brilliant. I feel like I go through rebirth each time I read something from you, it just keeps getting better. Thank you for sharing another of your masterpieces with all of us and best wishes in the contest. Love you my friend, Joyce


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Joyce
Thank you so much. I am so pleased you enjoyed this Sonnet. A lot tougher than they look as you well know. What a terrific learning experience. I think I'm addicted. LOL. Thanks again. ~Pamela
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ps. this one is my favorite of your three sonnets ...
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welcome to the english sonnet-world ...
you have been so courageous to try out this form for the first time, and for having succeeded so well in the form ...
a beautiful message envelopped inside the structure, as well ...
good luck in the contest,

maa

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maa
Thank you so much, in many many ways. This is an awesome form and I will try my hand at a few more I think. I am so pleased you enjoyed this piece. THANK YOU. ~Pamela
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