pain is unbearable
friendship is forever
lets take it one step farther
end the pain together
a variety of pills mixed with some alcohol
hopefully we wont last that long
i don't want any time to think
we both know how clingy i can get
thoughts invade my mind
maybe save my life
i chicken out but you go through with it
you're slowly losing sanity
how could i stand by and let this happen
what was I thinking?
better yet, why wasn't I?
please don't leave me- I wont be alright.
now I'm hated for what i didn't do
but why hate me when i didn't have time to think things through
i know now that i should have stopped you
i shouldn't have let you take a drink towards death
now its all in our past
and i have no clue what you think of me
what would you have done if it was me
i am so sorry i couldn't be strong
as sorry as i am
I'm happy just the same
we got lucky that night
because you grasped onto life
(no thanks to me)
just because you survived doesn't mean you were okay
you cried yourself to sleep
drank yourself numb
cut to escape reality
where was i? why didn't i do something?
i was hiding from the truth
i could have helped you
if i wasn't thinking about myself
forgive me for my lack of intelligence
believe that i wished things went differently
(than they did that night)
i want to be your best friend again
i want to be there for you and help you cope with the pain
Author notes
This is about the night that me and my best friend decided to kill ourselves, together. We planned to OD on pills and mix it with some alcohol. I chickened out but she stuck to the plan. She got really sick, managed to hide it from her parents and survived. I do not know what I would have done if she would have died. It would have been all my fault, and nobody could say different. I should have mentioned that this all took place like 3 years ago. I've been pretty stable since that date.
Option 3- definitely option 3.
A little, little bit of Option 6, but mostly Opt.3
A contest entry
- Options! Something for everyone. by forget my memories.
500 points, ended February 4, 36 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I don't know if i should keep the stuff that is inside (these thingys)
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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wow that is amazing
i totally love it
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That was so amazing and the afternote really brought out your message, even though I find myself being quite pro-suicide.
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what was I thinking?
better yet, why wasn't I?
I love thoughs lines. This poem blew me away there is so much pation and power i felt you pain and regret for what you had done. It must be hard to deal with Amazing write though thank you so much for entering my contest.
*sam -
damn, that must be tough to deal with, but you shouldnt be that hard on yourself because everyone has weak points.. it just so happened that at as terrible the timing was, it was one of your weak points. if she is your bestfriend and she would have probably helped you if she wasnt having a weak point too... but if she knows how truley sorry you are and forgives you, she is a great friend. and in this poem you can truley tell that your basicly begging for forgiveness.. but truthfully it sounds like you were having problems of your own right then, even if you were being selfish.
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jesus.
that's crazy.
but i love this--
pain is unbearable
friendship is forever
lets take it one step farther
end the pain together
♥ xXshotXx
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very powerful..
wow all i can say is you totally paint the pic for the reader.. this is amazing.. i am soo sorry that life was so bad then that you guys even thot about that..i guess that is what makes a good writer... full of angst... you can only write about sunshine and roses for soo long.. haha.. the ones full of angst are soo much more interesting.. all i can say is you nailed this one...totally engulfed me in the read..
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I am so glad that you and your friend survived. I am so glad that you could not go through with it. I can feel the love that you have for your friend and the pain that you are suffering from now. I was there once myself and I could not go through with it either. Please don't blame yourself, it was not your fault. What a wonderful and emotional write. Excellent job
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Well thank you, I have no other words to say.
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This really touches and i feel glad that you're okay by then. Remember one thing, quitting life isn't the solution to anything, infact you begin to get involved with the pathetic life after this in the eternity. I really appreciate, the talents is there in you, all you need is to polish yourself, i'm 17 and understand how it is like to be in such kinda situation but .. but you aint gonna do that ever again, if u jus feel depressed about something and want to share it wid someone, u can gimme a click..here's my email hotboy_4ever@hotmail.com take care..
-Mansoor
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it sounded like it was the truth, like you put a lot of emotion into it. i know how you feel too. i've been there when a friend had to save my life because i was in the same situation.
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Incredibly sad story
I can understand these sorts of emotions, my friends have saved my life countless times, yet if i were in the situation where i needed to save them, i may have reacted similarly to you. It is sort of all right though since you thought that you were doing what she wanted at the time, and since you were drunk so your decision making abilities were impaired. but shame on you for underage drinking (takes a shot of whiskey)As for the actual poem part... it could have flowed better, like with more rhyming or using a format, but i sometimes neglect to do this too. good overall tho.
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thank you very much. it means a lot, this poem. because it is the most real thing i have ever wrote about.
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what am i to say? im 12. i...i dont know WHAT to say. dont...dont ever do that again. you yourself JUST said that you hate death. i dont know you that well but if you hadnt chickened out and we never spoke again...i shudder to think about losing ANOTHER person that im close to(sort of) omg...like u said, "now its all in our past". just promise me if things get bad talk to me. come online or email me, or anybody else who WILL LISTEN TO YOU, *hint hint*. 4 a 12-year-old, ive been through a hell of alot in my life but obviously i havent been through anything like u have, but thats not the point, im trying to say, i no u r in pain and I WILL LISTEN TO EVERY WORD YOU HAVE TO SAY EVEN IF ALL OF THEM ARE CUSS WORDS!
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