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The BS of Today's World.

Hollywood,
the perfect metaphor for the
"Material World"

The world so many are drawn into.
Living by this world,
for this world,
and for this world only.

The world controlled by:
SEX
MEDIA
FASHION
POPULARITY

Giving in,
or losing your mind
so to speak.

You see them at the mall.
The "fakes".
The "posers".
The "sellouts".

Only to realize,
you are one yourself.

The worst of them all.
The "hypocrite".

Finally taking note,
that reality corrupts.

Reality is nothing
but fools gold.

Just a fake,
low down
no good,
slut.

Whoring itself out to the masses' wants,
or so called "needs".
Just making everbody so fu cki ng happy.



Author notes

Um. i don't expect this to be good.

It was a random rant on todays world/society/people/teenagers/ all the crap that was in my head, its in no specific order.

sooo. sorry for the mess, maybe ill fix it up. i would be open to suggestions too. Thanks!

-Will
AP: cLaSsiX

A contest entry

Comment/Critique freely.

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • earthstar
    July 12, 2007

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    I like the points you make with this write. That Hollywood does have power over society and what it portrays to the consumer. Reality is nothing but fools gold is brilliant. One can hear your passion and anger about what is wrong in our world. Image is not everything. It can not replace our heart. Very good the content is great. Keep up your hard work. I feel you could of end it at fool goal and still made an impact. You take it one step further. It give the write a form of self expression.


  • forever dreaming
    June 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Unfortunately this happens to be so very true. You only have to look at the likes of Paris Hilton or Britney Spears to see what it is really like. Beneath all the false glitter and tinsel of life they are nothing more than pawns in an overrated chess game. I like the simplicity yet power of this poem. A little tweak here and there to improve the flow and this would be excellent.


  • RT michaels
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You describe it very well in your author's note that this is more a rant than anything. That isn't to say that it is of less quality, it is however harder to pull off in poetry. I do have some suggestions to fix it.

    I see what your going for with the repetition of the word World so often. repeating something is usually good for making a point or a statement, however I believe it would work better if you varied your words just a bit. nothing too dramatic, but enough to give it more of a unique feel to it.

    Also, I don't think you need to put the spaces between Fucking, however it brings something up that I like. If you replace the spaces with - then it gives it a drawn off feeling and really drives home the anger.

    It's a good poem off to a great start. I would say there is a bit of things that could be worked on, but with the willingness to accept suggestion, I have very high hopes for this poem. Thank you for entering, i really enjoyed it.


  • Zixaphir
    June 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Sweet, but too forceful with its message

    Eh, I disagree, but agree at the same time. A lot of people are pulled into their own stupid fashion cliches and bullshit, but at the same time, that doesn't necessarily make them all sellouts or fakes. To some people, it is actually appealing to them. Of course, these people aren't the people hanging out at malls, either.

    On a side note, pretty things are fun to wear. Good music is good no matter how much it is over/underrated. You make good points, though. Our world is full of sellouts, all trying to live for the norm, not doing the things they really want to do, and submitting for fear and artificial peer pressure created by other such sellouts.


  • whiterabbit.
    June 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is very good and very true. So many are drawn into the bs of today's world and more people need to open their eyes and their minds. Thanks for entering.


  • XbeautifulyXbrokenX
    June 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I LOVE IT! GREAT THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS! LOL


  • The Fallen Phoenix
    May 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    dude, this is seriously well written. it's perfect in its simplicity. very nice job

  • Avani
    May 29, 2007

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    Very well done. I like that it seems as if you are staying as true to yourself as possible - a series of thoughts and rants about our world. and I completely agree with what you're saying. I like how you jump straight into the peice in the begginning - it draws the reader straight in and immediately engages them. Your thoughts are crisp, raw and to the point - therefore sharp and poignant (haha, definately didn't spell that right!). I loved the tone that came accross: frusteration, anger. I really liked how you you brought up the fact that we're hypocrites as well for noticing these things. Many dont seem to acknowledge this. The endings good. My favorite stanza is the fourth from the bottom "...reality corrupts" it stuck out to me. well said. And I don't think this is a mess, the thoughts actaully seem very well put together in my eyes.

    This is yourself and your thoughts, I have nothing to critique. Well done & good luck in the contest!


  • mpoetg
    May 24, 2007

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    The truth hurts! Not a mess...and you? Surely you are not a poser, fake, sellout? In what way...I like this poem and am glad you are so real and see through so much yuck in the world...


  • CherylAnn
    May 24, 2007

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    A bold and truthful write you have penned.We are all labeled in one way or another.Some trying to fit in,others not wanting to fit in and the ones that sit back and judge everyone,not even looking into themselves.A straight forward to the point write.I don't think anything needs to be changed.The effect is great and powerful indeed.Good Luck in the contests
    Blessings
    ~Cheryl~


  • Envelope
    May 23, 2007

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    well it was blunt, and your passion definately came through...I wouldnt say change it because any attempt to alter what you've already written would seem as a deliberate attempt to change how you feel, it was honest and honest is good

1 - 11 of 11