Staring at the clock watching minutes take forever in no time.
Trying to fathom ways to make them pass.
Wondering - how do I kill these minutes when they don't exist?
Time is false, made up, and we cater our lives to it.
When it changes we gain we lose.
What is the deal Time?
Why are we slaves to your clock and calendar?
Go Go Go Go Go Microwaves
Go Go Go Go Go E-Mail
Go Go Go Go Go Blackberries
Go Go Go Go Go Gadget
I see people enslaved by this black wheel of death, continuously turning, rushing to fit pointless empty meaning into every second.
Making schedules with a slot for the wife, kids, meeting, hooker, drug dealer.
"Well my son's got a ballgame, but we can fit you in."
"Sorry son, I had an appointment, I just didn't have the Time."
Empty guilt from empty people who care more about the Go Go Go than they do anything else.
In ignorance they claim life is teeming throughout their being, constantly active, fulfilled, while in reality they are trapped in the muddled web of Time and responsibility, wearing themselves out physically, mentally, spiritually.
Not enough hours in the day? this you cannot say, what is a day? is it when the sun is out? What happens when the sun is gone? night? what about Alaska? they must have plenty of time in the day.
It's created and worshipped to organize our lives, give us meaning,cause a great bustling, production, capitalism, correct?
The seasons are getting ahead of Time, it rains like fall in winter and snows like winter in spring, no one knows what's happening.
Maybe we'll cater the seasons to our Time with some scientific breakthrough bearing a fancy weather machine.
Maybe we'll shift the time to fit the seasons.
Maybe we'll destroy the seasons with global warming sending us into some kind of climatic catastrophe known simply in these strophes and live on too few hours in our pointless days, lacking Time.
All this talk of Time and I see that only ten minutes have passed.
There is too much Time in my day, taking too long for a whisper in our Time.
A contest entry
- reality is a disease by Envelope.
425 points, ended May 30, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire Me!!! by Auburn Sunrise.
2000 points, ended June 4, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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yikes
There's a lot going on in this poem. It appears chaotic and disorganized, shifting from one thought and topic to another. I understand that there is an overall theme, and I really like that theme, but I think all these side tangents (i.e. parading into the global warming argument) detracts from the central theme. Also, I think it needs some work on formatting. It would help if you broke the lines apart to make it have more of a "poetic feel". I think you may also want to add a little more punctuation where necessary, after splitting lines apart.
Of course, it's your poem. You may take my advice for what it's worth or leave it. Your choice.
Good job. It's an awesome start. You have a way of making the reader identify with your poem personally -especially by using the son and the missed game.
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Hmm i enjoyed the form...how utterly human it is to question and question and question...whether you meant for that to be evident or not is a toss up...regardless i really enjoyed that element...as well as the honesty portrayed in your words, an honesty most commonly affiliated with someone who genuinely observes thier surroundings.
however a did have a few small issues...most notably the repeating of the word time, it seemed to dampen my experience while reading, still it was a marvelous concept but it could benefit from a more polished execution.
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Very good read. i love poems on the concept of time. you also added other elements in as well. But, time does exist. If you like poems about time and stuff, a couple of mine are, ill be reading some more of yours.
Good luck in the contest, good write.
-Will
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