In the sweep of her hands,
"here -
here-
and here -"
here he touched me
with salt and gentle motions,
and like a mother, I melted
(fizzling angry as orange soda pop
left aching in the summer heat -
we steeped white sheets with blood
and as the sun stepped upon
the roof, the room exploded;
you were two halves of a shock
and for the first time, I thought,
life IS a war)
how much it hurt to lose.
virginity soaked
the air with tiny secrets -
I traced him
with a foreigner's hands
(who are you?
and what did you do to me?)
you you you YOU YOU MONSTER
(she pointed, said,
"and here, here there are no women")
there is only pain,
empty paper shells where he
took the living
and dropped it somewhere,
lost in the noise
(I just want to plunge these broken fingers into your chest
and rip out that heart you claimed was beating. you monster,
you damned monster. it's not real, you're not alive,
that's not a human heart inside you glowing at me in the dark,
taunting me with what I'll never have, what I've lost.)
she said,
"I don't think I'm ever gonna be the same again"
and she was right.
(it's too late too late too late to give you back this pain
that you shoved into me.)
MONSTER
Author notes
it was the only time I was ever pretty enough to get a guy's attention. what the fuck does that say about me?
username: Diseased Mind ( Belinda Zhou )
the two prose sections are from "Monster" - http://allpoetry.com/poem/2231422
A contest entry
- friendship and rape - dedication to my friend. by petrichor.
700 points, ended June 2, 2007, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Powerful write. I think it's sad when guys just pay attention to pretty girls for the wrong reasons. I meet a lot of guys like that in my neighborhood, but thankfully nothing tragic has happened to me yet. I understand the pain in this piece. Sometimes I feel like no-one normal will ever come my way. Congrats on winning the gold.
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This strangled me & captured me. Like, i felt so strung up reading this like the air turned thick & my blood stream slowed down. Its soooo emotional, even more than ever and just so angry like you can feel the pulse of the words as your eyes rush over them. I'm so sorry you even had to write this, it hurts me even though its glamorous & powerful and everything a poem should be. Just things like this make me feel so distant from real things & people with problems. I just wish I could help someone. But yeah this is heart warping and I adore the>>
(who are you?
and what did you do to me?)
you you you YOU YOU MONSTER
(she pointed, said,
"and here, here there are no women")
That killed me. You shock me sane with all your little letters ♥.
o.0
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Wow. Powerful stuff. I really have to get myself together and get on here to read more often. Your writing is so real, so filled with the kind of truth that stings. I love it, regardless of how sadly true the subject matter is.
The kind of male attention a girl gets for being simply a "pretty" girl isn't usually the kind you want, trust me. Just leave high school and you'll see. Relationships never have to be a "take it or leave it" matter.Find someone who can respect every part of you, and take you as you are. Otherwise, he's just not worth it.
Amazing writing, as always.
Mada
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Wow, amazing poem. You've really upped the competition with this one. You said 'it was the only time I was ever pretty enough to get a guy's attention'. Please don't let yourself go on believing that. It took over 20 years before someone finally noticed me. I thought something was wrong with me. I can't say how old you are, but one day you'll find someone who thinks you're amazing and more than just a pretty girl. Sometimes life throws horrible things at you, but that doesn't make you any less of a person. You just gotta pick yourself back up and stand strong. Good luck with the contest!
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I love you, and I could just tell reading this it was you! And thank you so much! You have no idea what this means to mee, I'm SO glad you entered.
I just found this whole poem graceful, the subject wasn't but you still wrote with that elegance that you have when you write everything. It was angry, but not vicious angry, and I'm glad it was like that because then it's not incredibly forceful.
'here he touched me
with salt and gentle motions,
and like a mother, I melted'
I liked that, I don't know why the the use of the word salt really appeals to me.
I don't even know what that says about you, but to me this whole poem says a lot. The ending really got me, just had so much pain wrapped in it. You deserve major s for this, thank you so much!
<33
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eep! forgot the applause!
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(fizzling angry as orange soda pop
left aching in the summer heat -
-- very well put image, lots of BRIGHT color to add to the vividness of the image as well loved that ♥
there is only pain,
empty paper shells where he
took the living
and dropped it somewhere,
lost in the noise
-now here i was a bit lost, but none the less i loved the thought of empty paper shells
sadly this is a very serious topic but i do want to thank you for opening up so well.
&hearts
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there is only pain,
empty paper shells where he
took the living
and dropped it somewhere,
lost in the noise
that's talking about how like, afterwards, everything was dead inside. Like, he pulled all that "living" out and just dropped it on the wayside where it was lost. -
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oh i seeeee
wow..
hm.. im sorry this is a real thing. i honestly think your very brave to even write about this. i still till this day can never really sum up any words to explain my expierance.
thank you for sharing
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