My favorite scent is his aftershave,
I lay here in his arms,
we talk without words,
listen without interruption,
believing in all that we are,
his hands are strong yet soft,
our breathing rhythm is the same,
he never wants to let go,
nor do I,
a draft from a window,
slight chill in the air,
but his love keeps me warm,
content,
I lay here in his arms,
we talk without words,
listen without interruption,
believing in all that we are,
the silence is not awkward,
never are we unsure of whats right,
we are right,
together,
we remain motionless on the outside,
but inside we dance,
to our own music,
a beautiful melody,
to beautiful to even sing,
I lay here in his arms,
we talk without words,
listen without interruption,
believing in all that we are,
two people in a world all of our own,
we are in love.
In a list
- love poems • next in list
- My best work • next in list
- Poems about my family • next in list
- Dedicated poetry • next in list
A contest entry
- Love please no hate by lustfulviolets.
300 points, ended May 16, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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SORRY CONTEST ENED
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Wow this was somthing to read, it makes me feel like I wnat your man...ha but I dont..16 is a strange age for me and here jsut fed my side of the longning for love. You have my dream man, the one with the strong arms that holds you tight. *sighs*
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I am honored that you liked it so much!
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I wanted to try and point out a favorite part but I am seriously in love with the whole thing. I love it. It's so beautifully written with such amazing feeling and emotion that just screams out at me.
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one thing. in this line:
"to beautiful to even sing,"
I think it should be "too" instead of "to".
This is such a romantic and sweet poem. I like the part about being motionless on the outside, but dancing on the inside. Feeling truly in love. Very beautiful written! -
I like this 'coz it's simple and touching. It seemed to flow easily and the words just came together all by themselves. You've managed to pen down the most intricate of feelings and it shows. I sincerely hope this comes from a real life experience. =)
Keep it coming, man. The more honest you are, the more raw and pure your pieces will be. And needless to say, I love the ending. I love this style but work on the punctuation. It doesn't seem to matter much, but it helps the structure of the poem a great deal and deepens the depth of the illusion you create for the reader.
Don't stop penning, man.
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BEAUTIFUL
This is so lovely and touching...The emotion, heart, presentation and flow of this piece are beautiful...
TY for entering!
Lynda
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very good i loved it
woah the way i felt when readen it is woah hmmm i cant explain it
very good poem
do me a favor keep written from your heart -
Oh yes I can relate to this write. Just perfect feelings you have described. Well done. Thank you for entering and good luck.
Jeannie
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Wonderful
(a nice smelling aftershave can ber very attractive, lol)
"we talk without words,
listen without interruption,
believing in all that we are," - that's good
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