Pripyat Sister

In the bed, in my night when the rain came
down on our heads and your poor soviet face.
The cold needle: the ice pick. Three quick shocks
Then the ‘next please’. Take a picture of you
With your clean, clean needle.
With your clean, clean needle.
And i said – “we would never regain”. We would never remember,
Though at night you would scream as you saw it again and again
And again.

The sky and his violent fists, the man made rage
That we called out. As we crawled down
From the nuclear winter. Though men would perish
And drown in the air of their bunkers and beds.
That old cloud
hovered above and the sky was blocked out.

She said: “you know, I wait for the world to end,
so I can sleep and dream again”.
I demand that you bring me your rest in my hospital bed.
Hah! We are the same
but we have never met.
We have never met;
we are the same, nurse, sister! Bitch, your skin blisters
when my skin blisters. You shiver when I shiver.
Shrive the life that I shrive.

I hate you and your false water. Your false comforts,
you vulture - your bloodlust, my bones
are picked clean. But they're dry. So, so dry.
You couldn't even taste the metal air,
When you hold up your head with your mouth wide open,
Sucking the sky and the breath from the heavens.

But I: When I taste the metal air I swallow nothing.
There is no more; there is no other twin of mine.
She was dead, in spite of all the breathing.
The heart breathing was a subterfuge, a ruse,
to keep you all guessing what my dear, dead sister said:
“I don't want your co-operation with this -
just your… I just want your undying adoration”.
My dying admiration breathed its last. What governed me
has faded into past tense. The east and the west, the
Armed men who despise each other.

She crucified the world, and laughed at my expense
screaming 'fuck you and your
self importance'. My ignorance is something that only
Ourselves as sisters learn.
In the fashion of reason, the equal eye
is colour-blind, like rainbows, only blinder.
Well I could claim it, everything you craft
I’d name it, call it mine. That sweet, cloying scent
of lungs that do not inhale. Eyes that do not weep,
Hands that cannot dig, a mouth that cannot wail.
When I blink a ghost blinks: you.

“You’re paranoid,
the air we breathe is as clean as the sky is”. The fields
are full of acid as our bones are filled with acid.
She said: 'it's all in your head',

it is all in my head, my fire - my brittle bones, god bless
god bless. Rumble from her throat,
That old gaping mouth of god,
I see. Shortly after
Your old life's idol. I am eternal. Eternal.
the money's gun, has gone and got it. Brought it home to
grow, grow it's spindly bones. Spring Ogre! Your tread
crushes my bones like flowers.

My body's trigger is your lifeline.
Dragging all these demons from out from beneath the earth
their graves: the coal mines.

You speak, I freeze,
my ice; it melts, king rat comes riding on his chariot,
Wheels turning, right out of hell. 
The turn in you, the queen in me said:
ladies and gentlemen! Please take your seats,
please take you seats, and laugh and laugh, and eat.
Eat the food. Raising hell was that stupid me.
The stupid you. The stupid me.