Your smile brightens, his Morning
Just as his day Begins
He sends you rose, just Because...
He’s thinking of you Again
You go for a mid-day Walk
And talk for hours and Hours
You feel a bond growing Strong
A possible love, beyond Measures
You melt over the intimate Conversation
As thou 2 souls have just Touched
He holds you high on his Pedestal
For it crosses your mind, This must be Love
There's always a peaceful Silence
As you gaze upon this Man
Not once realizing Reality's Realization
That this was always his Plan
So you thought you had a love Forever
And perceptions can often lead Astray
You just got Hit and Run On...Sistaz
For you were just another, Queen For Today's...
”Pussy”! and That's All
Get The Point
Ladies Pay Attention Don’t Assume,
Know The Company You Keep
Don't Point Fingers just look in a Mirror
For They Were Your Own Delusions and No-One Else's
Peace
Holla @ Ja Boi
TX Leonard
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Hey You
Keep reading and telling what you think
I need my little girl's input on her dad's abilities here. I love you
my little Co-Co-Nut. Always -
This was an enjoyable read. You painted a very vivid picture here.
Well done.
Keep up the good writing -
I really liked all of this. i love ho you turned it around. Made for an extremely intersting read. Nice job.
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liked the TWIST
oh it startet off so plain (sorry). well written but plain. but then you did it. you turned it around. you made a masterpiece. good job
. Rewarded 4
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Wow. This was very cool. It started off all nice, but then it turned dark. It was kind of funny in a weird sort of way that I can't explain, but I like your perception of love. It was really good, because the sad thing is is that this really is true for a lot of people. Good write.
Alyssa
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I really liked the first part and as I read can't help but change words in my head as I go so the second line below is what I thought as I read.
So you thought you had a love Forever
PERCEPTIONS LED ASTRAY
You just got Hit and Run On....
For you were just another Queen For Today's...
The end kind of made the poem sound tacky...but it's all opinion ya know how that goes. Great poem!
. Rewarded 8
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Okay...
I thought this poem had a good beginning and a strong middle, but I'm a little young to understand, but as far as I can tell I thought it was pretty good. -
You are right on your thinking.So many times we as women want the things we feel to be true also for the ones we want,so often times we make ourselves believe that this is true even when it isn't.That's why we get so hurt.You must always know and learn about the other person in the greatest of detail before you make this mistake.Thanks for the greatr read.Really deep.
. Rewarded 8
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the emphasis by capitalization is very well placed. this poem pulls no punches. it is very straightforward. the title is just a little bit cumbersome, but still gets the point across. i liked the stanza breaks. they are very appropriately placed. very good.
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You really captured my attention in this ome. This is a really great poem, excellent job. Keep up the good work!
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You did an excellent job at capturing your audience's attention. I think the poem would've spoke volumes if you would have just ended it with "For you were just another Queen For Today" The last little bit was more like an everyday synopsis of what you had just said. It lowered the message of the write dramatically. I was very disappointed in the ending.
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Thanks for the feedback and I appreciate your feedback but as you will see in my writings I don't write for dramatical impact. I write to express thoughts. I am not looking for dramatical impacts. My words written and how they are written is the essence of the poem. So to edit your thoughts for dramatical impact is the same as silencing your view point. Thanks for reading and providing this feedback but on the majority this poem was understood and appreciated for the message it relayed which is everyday from the neighborhoods I come from. Thanks for the comments
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Ouch! Very true! I really like the last verse
Ladies Pay Attention Don’t Assume,
Know The Company You Keep
Don't Point Fingers just look in a Mirror
For They Were Your Own Delusions and Noone Else's
Wise words indeed!
. Rewarded 4
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Deep
This is one that should be sant out to young and old for we all have those moments of insanity! We see the trap for what it is yet think we can dodge it not realizing we only fell hook line and sinker. Do your thing education them so they can avoid the trip for it maybe their last.
. Rewarded 6
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Huh... I like it... True, u kno. Bangin. Enjoyed the read. Sorry for the shitty comment but my fingers hurt and I don't wanna type. Nope. Not doin it.
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omg i have felt this feeling so many times and it was only a hit and run, u got it on tha knose
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true true..I feel you and can definetly relate..
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Thank you very much for your excellent feedback and enjoying my writing. I truly appreciate your taking the time to read me and comment back.
Thanks so much once again
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