This Little one loved me
then~
c LUnK-- drops the drawbridge
SwoOsh--breaks the dam
never loved before like this,
but now I surely am.
SsSsssst-spears the dart,
sweet n' sassy geisers
shooting straight to the heart.
Small hands lit the firewall-
when
FwOom- goes the flame
GuSh- let ‘er flow,
generation's plowed,
hot-baked dumplins’ in the snow!
Author notes
Ahhhh..what those grandbabies can do to a cooling heart!
Written July 31st, 2003
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"Twas a sweet sweet poem!!! Made me smile so wide!!!!
~Laura
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litlle bundles of kindlinggardners that spark a new passion in ones heart to return that sweet love twofold and protect them from all the suffering we've endured.....lovely poem...Artis
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So Sweet!
Aw...I loved this poem...Its so nice to read something as sweet as this...It gives you that warm place in your heart once you read it...Very Nice! Hey, I wanted to let you know about my Newest Poem called "My Soul Sister" Its about My Best Friend who passed away in June.... I hope that you read it & comment on it...Your opinion means a lot ot me....God Bless! -Sara aka DyingRose -
hyperbowl? lol heehee... you dont wanna know where i am with that word!!! lol
i liked this
it was playful and sweet!! -
he he he . . .I really like this Cookie. Great stuff.
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Good Sap
Sappy it is and I like it.
Monk -
The metaphor is also a hyperbole, which is meant to be sappy..lol. ...but as far as adding to it, I am taking that into consideration. Thank you again for an HONEST critique.:)
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I don't know if I like the metaphore, but I definitely like the poem. Love is a sudden shape shift of vision. A quick change of viewpoint which suddenly covers everything you believe. I think you covered that quite well here. The last line though, I think you were reaching for something and stopped before you quite got there. I know this because I do this sometimes. I could be wrong though, it definitely wouldn't be the first time.
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Loving and priceless
Aunt Cookie a precious write and picture could feel the love in your heart for that little one and the bond you each share.
A beautiful piece of the joy and priceless touches of her life
and yours together.......with many wonderful moments and memories.
Hugs and love, Sherry
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awesome, creative images, and great love show
Yes AWESOME Cookie! Yes, those little toddlers really do liven us up and provide a 2nd. chance at expressing the child left within us. I find our McKenzie to be so entertaining, content, happy, loving, camera piggy(poses and all). Each new word and skill is a true thrill for Jim and I. I really relate to this piece. Did your little one receive her cards from us up north???? The style, flow, content, presentation make a perfect read for this gal. I would just have 1 suggestion. Upload a picture to go with this write of your precious little gem. I'm sure we all like a glance at her. If only the fallen world could see the world through the eyes of a child, yet tarnished by society's illnesses? My spirit tells me, that would Heaven! This world is not the Eternity we are destined for in the future. God Bless You and Keep Penning for Us... How is Dad? Did Sis get there?
Until later my precious friend!
Edited on Jul 31, 3:19 p.m. because 'typo disability'. -
You have a unique way of writing, that is for sure .. I really couldn't tell what this was about when I first read it, and I wasn't sure what to expect .. but after I read your author's comment, and re-read the poem, I was chuckling. Of course, I'm only 18, and I don't know what it's like to have grandchildren .. man, I'm still a great-grandchild myself! But I love children, and babysit for my friends, and the likes .. while it's hardly the same, I know, it gives me SOME idea of what you mean through this poem. Children are a blessing, and sometimes a curse .. but usually a blessing!
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hehehehe LOVE this infintely Koot write. I will never have grandchildren, but my heart is not numb to children at all. Loved this piece. ET
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