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Her Words Cut Like A Knife

The yelling ceased and she stumbled off inebriated, emotional with tears in her eyes

I stood alone on the street corner, blowing smoke rings with my breath.  I watched her stumble farther and farther away, without even moving a muscle.

Pain had never felt so real before. Our child was actually gone and so was anything we ever knew of each other. Some would say that it barely existed, but we definitely miss it now that it doesn't at all.

Her glossy eyes were like a lake on a warm, misty morning. She had no patience to be nice, laying in on me with her prearranged speech. She ended it by wishing me well and saying that she still loved me. Then, as she was just out of sight, it was those words that cut like a knife.

Author notes

Scorpio Rising

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Twilight4Eternity
    February 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Usually I'm not the biggest fan of prose... but this was very good. I really liked it.


    • scorpio rising
      February 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Miss

      Really....


      I haven't read this in so long

      I guess it feel kinda deep

      And for me these words cut like a knife


      Thank you for reading...opening my eyes today



      Thank you


      Much Love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • love tank x
    May 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "I stood alone on the street corner, blowing smoke rings with my breath. I watched her stumble farther and farther away, without even moving a muscle."

    Love that stanza.
    The whole thing is actually pretty good.
    Could you please give me your username in your author's notes? Good job and thank you for entering!


    • scorpio rising
      May 22, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thankyou for reading miss!!!

      Im glad you enjoyed and much appreicate the comment

      Much Love!


  • eyesofanangel524
    May 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Tells the story well of one leaving. Words rehearsed so that they flow easier from the mouth of the one speaking. Unsure of whether this is what they want..yet sure enough that they need to move on. Tears from ones eyes expressing more than the words that were spoken except to the one who had them slice within their heart. Very nicely done.


  • Pisces Pieces
    May 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    There is alot of emotion here, very evident, strong emotion...

    you can really watch the scene unfold with your wonderfully crafted detail....

    Not overdone and very well expressed, leaves you wondering and wanting more of the story!

1 - 8 of 8