To lie down beside you is my one true dream
To have you all through the night is my greatest desire
I want to have you near me to warm my lonely bedside
I want us to comfort one another and delight in each
other’s aspirations
If I should lay here
Would you lie with me?
Would you keep me close and hold me tight
To make sure everything is right?
Could you remain until the nightmares have gone?
Or all the tears on my pillow have dried?
Would you listen if I told of all my failures or when my
hopes for life had died?
Would you stay awake through the late hours to make sure
I’d fallen asleep?
Or to dry every tear that falls from my face when I have begun to weep?
If I should lay here
Would you lie with me?
© Marisa
Author notes
Written February 2nd, 2007
In a list
A contest entry
- PREWRITES!!! BRING 'EM ON IN!!! by XxLoverOfDarknessxX.
550 points, ended June 27, 113 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Very sad to me, but nevertheless, a beautiful work on it's own right. Awesome stuff from you! I like your work a lot so far! I cannot wait to read more. Good luck in future endeavours. Best wishes.
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wow, i loved it. it was a great write, so much emotion, something so beautiful, and so not cliche. very good job.
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this reminds me of that one song that says "would you lie with me and just forget the world." I can't remember the name of it lol. but yeah, great write!
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Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol That's what inspired this.
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I couldn't think of the name of the song at the exact moment in time when I typed the comment haha
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amazing!! just absolute perfection!!
WOW! it was really good! such beauty and heartfelt emotions in this. keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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Chasing Cars is awesome and you did the line to their song more than justice
A wonderfully beautiful piece and questions that the heart needs answered
Much enjoyed!
All the very best to you! -
There is a wonderfully magical, peaceful and restful tone to this one as it splashes across the page here. Thank you for sharing and best wishes to you. Keep that pen handy dear poet. ~Midnight Lace
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this is great... i love the emotion and honesty
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sweet words flowing and maybe he will or maybe he will not lie with you. the best part of your life is still ahead. Take your time and smell the roses.
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enjoyed the rhyme here. It wasn't your basic abab kind of quatrain rhyming piece, and that made it much more enjoyable for me than it might have been if the line structure were any different. Though the subject and language is simplistic, I think it still manages to be rather impactful to the reader, mostly because it IS simplistic, and a piece of writing we can all lay ourselves down in.
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Nice write
Abidoodle
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Hey this is a really nice piece.. I love the title it's also a line in one of my fav songs.. Nice piece
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Is Chasing Cars your favorite song?
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I love this poem because I can relate to it. I can relate to wanting to ask someone these questions or having someone ask them to me and just wanting to say yes. It's an awesome piece and I hope you can ask these questions to someone one day and have the answer returned as a yes. Keep writing.
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Very Sweet......................
piece you have writne here, if you would get the answer yes to all the questions posed you would be the happiest girl around.For someone to share this type of intimacy with you is the makings of true love.And if you find this type of love, then you have found your soul mate. Don't ever let ti slip away, as most never find this kind of love. This was a very romantic piece thanks for sharing!!!~~Toni~~
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Awwww!
I love this Risa. It reminds me of something...I'll get back to you when I figure out what. Very sweet. For some reason I felt sad when I read it, like the unspoken answer to the poem is "No" but that might just be my personal issues right now. ANYWAY, Like I said, it's an awesome piece. Great Job.
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Exceptional
This is a truly excellent poem. You did such a good job on reaching the heart with this. The beauty of this poem is that everytime you read it you can think of another way to view it. It truly is hard to find someone thats willing to listen and care but when someone like that comes along it is a beautiful experience. Keep up the good work and always tell it From The Heart -
My first impression is sure I would lie with you (if I was single)anyone would. Then I realized that what you are wanting is a soul mate. That requires dedication which so few are willing to give. If this poem is a cry of your heart then I hope the best for you.
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lovely, lovely...
The poetry has immense depth. It talks about accepting people as they are irrespective of circumstances. The tinge of passion and love thats blened in the write adds extra beauty to the poetry...
Keep it up!!
May God bless you!!!
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