wish I had the courage
to tell you what I think
wish I had the voice
to tell you what I feel
wish I had the difference
to tell you what I need
wish I had the love
to spread my wings and fly for real
I wish I had a coin for every time that I've cried
wish I had a bank to carry all those dimes
wish I had a book to write you 'I'm sorry,
I wish I wasn't the one hurting you.'
I wish I had a hug to cure all my sadness
wish I had a kiss to put an end to this maddness
wish I had the time to tell you 'I'm sorry
I wish I wasn't the one needing you.'
Well here I am,
Wishing I could speak
Here I am,
buckling, my knees are weak
Here I am and I'm sorry,
I wish I wasn't the one hurting you.
Well here I am,
Wishing I could move
Here I am,
shakin, and subdued
Here I am and I'm sorry,
I wish I wasn't the one needing you.
I wish I wasn't the one,
needing you.
I wish I wasn't the one, and I'm sorry,
sorry, sorry - I'm hurting you.
Author notes
I'm sorry... I'm sorry I'm hurting you. Bye.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Great!
The repetition in this piece was just right. Not too much, and not too little. You changed it a couple of times, breaking away from the pattern, which made it really fun to read. Plus, the subject was heart-rending. I absolutely love the second to last stanza. It's a great pace-breaker, and it's flawless in both rhyming and rhythm. Plus, it's sort of the climax of the piece, and you pulled it off with style.
Well done!
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Thanks so much! Yanno, it's been so hard for me to look at this ever again. But that's life, and I'm thinkin I'm well over it
It's not my greatest, by far. I guess reading it out of depression wasn't what made it hard, but the fact that I think this piece isn't at its best
I should get back to work on it, but times are hectic!
Thanks so much!
-B
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i'm sorry
this almost made me cry, bryan.
great write!
i loved the part when you said:
"I wish I had a hug to cure all my sadness
wish I had a kiss to put an end to this maddness
wish I had the time to tell you 'I'm sorry
I wish I wasn't the one needing you.'"
its so wonderful
BRAVO!
PS: how was that day when u were nervous?
sherry
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Loves
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