Standing underneath a moon
Yet the sky is dark
As that of a storm
She waits for him under the trees
A knife is pressed against her throat
"Say that you love me
And I'll leave you alone"
Said a voice of the unknown
"My heart belongs to another
So I can not say it to you"
replied the woman
He pressed the knife against her throat harder
And as he did so
The blood drew more
He whispered in her ear again
"Say that you love me
And I'll leave you alone."
"I have nothing to give you
For how can I say those words
If I do not even know you"
The woman by the tree whispered
The voice became madder
"YOU WILL LOVE ME!"
He shouted to the night
With one last breath
The woman said
"As long as I live
I'll never love you"
He then took his knife
Away from her throat
"I guess that I'll just
Have to make it so"
As he said that
He plunged his knife into her
"I told you to love me,
And now so you will."
Author notes
Let Your Darker Side Give In
A contest entry
- Dark Love by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended May 24, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In A Mind Of Darkniss by Myth Of Twilight.
890 points, ended June 5, 2007, 46 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥ Let Your Darker Side Give In ♥ by vampireblood.
400 points, ended July 6, 2007, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Release Inner Anguish (Dark poetry from Dark poets) by Girl With Guitar.
1300 points, ended August 9, 2007, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your Green Trophies into Bronze, Silver or Gold by FloridaGatorQueen.
600 points, ended June 29, 2008, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
This is a sad poem but good. I mean it gave me the heebie jeebie's as I read it. It definitely kept me on the edge of my seat. I enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.
-
I can dig that.
I think that the set out of a conversation takes away from the overall poem, it makes it more blocked than flowy. I've experienced the same sort of thing in life, except no one died. Great job.
Bandaid. -
Wow, this was pretty amazing. I love the dark imagery presented in this piece. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest my dear.
~~~Vampy~~~ -
SWEET!!!!
THIS IS AMAZING! I LOVE THIS PIECE! It's very dark and hot as fuck! You're a great writer and it's so full of emotion and suspense. It makes you WANT to keep reading to see how it ends and that is a true sign of a good writer.
-
Wow, the imagery to this is very deep. The emotion just pours out. I loved that she wouldn't say she loved him, shows true love to the other, too bad it ended in fatality. I honestly think you could add onto this and make it like a story or something. Thanks for entering and good luck.
-
heya...this was a great write and i really enjoyed reading this...your words were strong, powerful and emotional as well..i did enjoy this and liked reading it alot keep writting your talented and good luck in the contest
~Chrissy~
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
