Four years old,
an innocent age.
Alone at the house,
my first time ever.
I played with my cars,
I drove them around the world,
I had so much fun.
A knock at the door,
Someone here to play.
Someone for me.
Someone to talk to.
I hope they can play.
I hope that they smile,
I hope they're a friend.
All alone at home.
It's my first time ever.
I answer the door,
I see the man.
"Are your parents home?"
I say,"No sir, they left."
The smile left his face.
Only a wicked smile.
Fear.
He brutally grabbed my hair.
Pain.
He yanked me inside the house.
All alone.
I started to cry as he shut and locked the door.
He dragged me to my room.
Can't hide.
He threw me on the bed.
Helpless.
My head scraped a nail on the wall.
Blood.
To this day the scar is on my brow.
I cowered in the corner.
So alone.
My tears fell from my face.
Blurry vision.
He fumbled with his pants.
Confusion.
His pants fell to his waist.
Naked.
He grabbed my hair.
Agony.
He grabbed my face.
Wetness.
He said,"Quit fighting boy, come have a taste."
Choking, Choking.
No teeth.
A chance to breath.
Gasping.
He touched me in naughty places.
Violated.
He slapped me when I spit in his face.
He told me to never tell,
Always alone.
He told me nobody would believe.
He fixed my scratch.
He cleaned my room.
He walked out the door.
Gone forever.
For years it destroyed me, this twisted tale.
I wanted him to die.
I killed small animals.
Slowly.
I liked to watch them bleed.
I wanted him to die.
I made it my life's mission.
Pointless.
I got in fights at school.
I would fight him forever.
I would stop people like him.
Hope.
I became a christian.
I learned they ways of God.
I learned God can forgive.
Understanding.
I started to help people.
I didn't know why.
I buried it so deep,
The pain finally died.
This is my story, this is my life.
A four year old boy lost innocence and one life.
This is the second time this tale has been told.
Author notes
Dedicated to someone who just told his story for the first time ever.
A contest entry
- Best Poem(s) You Have Ever Wrote by NickelleteXninja.
550 points, ended June 15, 2007, 140 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Congestion of Options- Ignite the Muse by FunnelWaxFate.
1000 points, ended June 22, 2007, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - my first contest by chaostheory89.
1000 points, ended June 9, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - April is Abuse Awerness Month by FallenFromGrace1102.
340 points, ended May 2, 2008, 68 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Abuse/Pain/Rape/Suicide I want to know by Stolen memories.
540 points, ended April 4, 31 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I love it, and it's true 1 in 5 men have been a victim of sexual violence. And this poem gives a great and vivid display of what happened.
I'm sorry something like this happened to you and I hope you know it's not your fault.
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great write i loved it so powerful and strong keep up the absoutlely beautiful work i wish you the best of luck in my contest.
*~*beee*~* -
This is a powerful, insightful, meaningful write. It reminds me of my brother’s own story, very similar. It is so sickening that this carnage of the soul, the violation, the battering, the brutal theft of innocence and childhood, tattered and shredded, ripped to pieces…that it exists, that another “human being” could do such a putrid, vile, awful deed, and to a child nonetheless. Children are so free at heart, so young, with their eyes always looking at the world as little optimists, and then to have it all crushed and ripped away…it’s so sickening! This poem is remarkable. It is marvelously crafted with depth and profoundness. It is fantastic that spirituality and the vibrance, love and healing power of the Lord rescued him from the depths of agony and darkness, and he found hope, courage, and healing. It is most affecting. A remarkable dedication. Well done!!!
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this is amazing. i can't imagine how awful this could have been, and this poem vividly throws it in my face. it's definitely out there. good luck.
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thats what this poem is for. to throw it in peoples faces. it happens every day, and we're stuck with the nightmares for the rest of our lives. hope that it didn't ruin your day.
Knapp
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thank you for the entry i hope your friend stays strong. good luck
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This touched my heart with sadness and pain
To think someone could destroy a child's innocence and life in such vile, disgusting ways....
May God have mercy on the souls of the truly wicked for I would not want to be counted among them on Judgement Day
Thank you for sharing your poetry -
' started to cry as he sht and locked the door.'
as he what?
wow this was very out there!
I dont know what to say other than what was your reactionwhen they told you this!!!???
the expression was very good
thanks for entering
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This could not have been...................
written any better than you did!!! It is just amazing the way you wrote down the feelings of a four year old and how they completely express what that age would feel!!! This was so sad but I love how God saved you from your self in this and he is the only one who could remove that kind of pain and bring complete healing emotionally!!! I cannot say enough about this piece except how full of profound truth it is in this sick world we live in today!! I wrote a poem called "Innocence Lost" it was fiction but I wrote it after reading about a girl whose father had sold her sexually for drug money!!! Check it out if you 'd like and let me know what you think!!!!Thanks for sharing this piece!!!~~Toni~~
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DEEP!! WELL EXPRESSED! I COULD ALMOST FEEL IT!
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Tragic
This is incredibly wonderfully sad. It brought tears to my eyes. The emotions were expressed so well in every part. I love the entire work. Well written. -
Tears flowing
you are right, we both have a wicked similar past. My son was raped at summer camp by a male camp counselor when he was 8 yrs old and now he's 30, but my head is still reeling from it. Makes me think that sexual abuse of children will scar this world forever. I still feel powerless to save my children (and their grown and gone, lol). You have expressed your deep anger and incredible pain well here. I hope that there is therapy in the future. Please do not waste precious years without help. Took me until i was 46 to seek the help i deserved, now i'm writing some incredible poetry, and my soul has been returned to it's rightful owner, ME! Stay close k? Warmly, Chrissy AKA
workinghrlyldy
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-Starts to cry.-
Omgodsh..
That's alot like what happend to me.
I've never felt so much emotion, not even with my own poetry..
I dunno what to say.
I'm just shocked you managed, to get all of that emotion..
all of those words in one poem.
I can completely relate and understand.
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wow, im so sorry. four years old, by a complete stranger. god, im speechless.
this is soo sad && told so...wow.
♥
Chaos -
this is truely a very deep poem, I love the deepness you have in this one, showing the readers emotion and hurt, letting the readers truely understand what it is like
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