My hands stroked the wind.
I could feel the eddies
made by your passing.
The aroma of your dreams,
swirling, alluring 'til
I am again mesmerized.
You release your doves --
the wings flutter race
as I try to trace the taste
language rapturous with meaning.
I can only smile pray,
hope the sand beneath my feet
tells you of my travels
before the waves erase my tales.
I feel time being measured.
As my tongue savors traces of salt
tastes of memories uncaged.
12:37 PM
May 19, 2007
Newington, VA
In a list
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Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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this was a very interesting and intriging piece it really captivates I absolutely loved how you ended it what a picture you painted for us all with your words great job it flowed well
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Thanks, we are creatures of time. Our sense of what is proper demands a beginning and an end. We create our own deaths that way. Peace & Love, Tom B.
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Very nice, the imagery and flow are well done in here. I do have one opinion of a suggestion: Perhaps L5 would be better "swirling, alluring until" but just a thought.
Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. 
Hetohke'e 
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Thanks for the editorial critique. thought about it and I think you are right. Peace & Love, Tom B.
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Sorry, I meant to give you applause....but I was too enraptured. I'd buy your records!
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What really appeals to me is that it is soooooo manly. It's earthy and sensitive.. and that's what makes it sexy. Yeah.....sigh....hmmmm....ahem;
Back to the real world! -
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Thank you. If you loved this than try this http://allpoetry.com/poem/3008708
I like to think that I never shed any of my sexuality by being as richly sensative as I can be. But you be the judge. Welcome aboard
Love, Tom B.
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Tom, excellently written, a very thought and visual provoking poem indeed, nicely done...Scott
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I am glad you took the time to share your pleasure in this piece. Thanks
Tom B.
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"As my tongue savors traces of salt
tastes of memories uncaged."
Highly charged end statement....leaves the reader to engage the sensation and roll with whatever memory has been stirred up already by this sensual, deep work.
Brilliant word play throughout.
Alan.
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Thanks. I wanted to stir the feelings and make the reader dance with dreams. From what you say I have suceeded a little. Tom B.
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Incredible and sensual
I very much enjoyed this. I think it ended perfectly
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You know, of course, that you are talking to a total romantic. I am thankful that you were so willing to share the joy you received from this poem.
Love, Tom B.
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Another poem that reaches out to all the senses.
Great opening line and enticing title too!
This is lovely.
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Glad to hear from you again. i got a bunch of new ones floating around. I guess I am celebrating being back on the net. I want to thank you for all of your sweet words.
Love,Tom B.
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I am so glad I have read this poem, it's a portrait and an amazing one.
"My hands stroked the wind.
I could feel the eddies
made by your passing."
I can never tell you how wonderful these lines were and how they effected me.
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One of the greatest compliments is to find you have touched someone. Thank you for sharing that with me. Joy shared is joy multiplied.
Love, Tom B.
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I love this piece, it's very vivid and as I was reading this I could feel the wind blowing softly. You did a great job on this. the form is perfect and the wording was a very good choice. Great work!
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The love and joy shared gladdens my heart.
Love, Tom B.
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Your first verse flows well, has a nice poetic feel to it. I also liked the title and how you are open to your feelings. Nicely done.
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Glad this sang to you as it wafted past. Thanks for sharing your joy in return.]
Love, Tom B.
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wow. this is good.
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Too kind, too kind. But I will enjoy your pleasure greatly.
Love Tom B.
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"...hope the sand beneath my feet
tells you of my travels
before the waves erase my tales."
Beautifully penned, my Friend...Ahhh, the ocean's whisper is prevalent this night...& time is measured gently by loving memories...Good luck in the contest...Be well, Poet...
Wanda
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Thanks dear, this was just a simple song that I felt you might like to hum.
Love, Tom B.
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Yo Bro ~
I have to agree with every Poets review,
but of course I'll add my own view ~
Sometimes........no.......
.......Most, of the time......
.....your work is like sands through an hour glass ~
I can not leave until I see the last
grain fall....and then I must tap the glass
to get every bit of sand where it's supposed to be ~
To be captivated by your music,
one must listen to every brass, string,
or reed being played....therefore, I
always stay for the entire symphony ~
Well done Maestro!
Brother Bear ~
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Simplicity is deceptive. It dances for us just beneath all the words we swirl the waters with. Sometimes we, poets, are fortunate to create something that sings not just for the ears but all the senses. Sometimes even strong enough to allow the spirit to dance. Thanks for letting me know that you enjoyed the tune so deeply.
Love, Tom B.
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Spectacular Sensuality, A Classic Read
You have me floored once again...this poetic piece of art just embraces the female reader. Makes a woman feel like a woman. You are the Master of metaphors when it comes to sensuality.....excellent!!!Bravo!!!
novy
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This is just a simple gift for the heart. I am glad that it sang to you and left you with strong feelings.
I would be rude not to let you know that your praise sings in my heart. I am fortunate to have someone, like yourself, to be so rich with joy and so willing to share it with me.
Love, Tom B.
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And if music played these words are what the lyrics would be, it danced around my heart and escaped from my lips in only a way you could write it. Love, C
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For me, this is close to a perfect compliment. I want my words to demand being spoken and then when they are to leave the music in heart.
Love, Tom B.
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Lush in it's beauty
Beautiful flow filled with a richness that is astounding. The rythem is perfection and the words wello chosen. such amazing emotion totally romatioc as usual. Great Job.
*Go with God* my friend,
Valerie
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you are really too kind. It is just a simple piece trying to brush feelings with a musical impressionistic air.
Thanks for sharing your joy in this piece.
Love, Tom B.
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Liked the alliteration in the title - washing the wind, and in the poem too - tasting traces,
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Thanks. I find it fun to play with the music in words. Love, Tom B.
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wonderful
Such an excellent piece....
As always, you had me captivated from beginning to end...
Amazing once again, my friend...
Lynda
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Thanks for sharing your joy. I enjoyed the way this one danced. Love, Tom B.
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