With bloodlust in my eyes,
sensing ghosts of heroes past
as the Sun climbs to the skies,
I have come home at last.
Standing alone for far too long,
I feel the fallen at my side,
singing loud their Warrior’s Song,
I swell at last with long lost pride.
Shouting aloud for the glory,
for all the deeds they done,
10,000 years, one long story,
they all have stood as one.
I raise my sword in honour
of battles that have past,
for the strength, the bravery, the valour,
on the killing fields so vast.
I strive to carry on this tale,
to live by the code,
whether it be mountain or vale,
to take the paths I never rode.
In days to come will they sing of me?
And all the deeds I done,
will I be the ghost they see,
singing before the dawn?
Author notes
"yo yo yo wats happenin" - for contest entry
Something somewhat different for me. I always tend to write about what is going on in my life, mostly dealing with the emotion of it all, and I am definately going through that at the moment, big time.
However, it was wearing me down and I was getting sick of it, to be honest, so I though I would try something different and if I am to improve as a writer, I think it was time to break out and try different things after so many years of only picking up pen and putting it to paper when something bad happens.
Surprisingly, I am pleased with the result and I now have rather a soft spot for this piece. As someone pointed out after I had written it, it is very "Power Metal!"....and that is all the better.
A contest entry
- ALMOST Anything and Everything! Win Memberships! by kiwikrazi37.
369 points, ended August 14, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All Your Poems Are Belong To Me by Samantha Amergirdol.
1000 points, ended September 6, 2007, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme Time by Danna Hobart.
375 points, ended October 12, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter your favorite poem that hasn't won anything by whispernthedark.
745 points, ended October 4, 2008, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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A very admiral write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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Thank you very kindly.
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Because I got so many entries, I am going to judge this a little different than I normally do. On the contest page the challenge was to write a rhyming poem that shows instead of tells, with imagery and metaphor galore. In addition to those things, I am going to take the meter and rhythm into account along with originality. So I am going to award points for each of those things and then sort of tally them at the end to decide on the winners.
Show vs. Tell: 60/100
The poem tells more than it shows.
Concrete Imagery: 70/100
Metaphor/Symbol/Allusion: 70/100
I saw the paths never rode as an allusion to Frost’s The Road not Taken.
Originality:
70/100
Meter: 80/100
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Thank you very much. For some reason I've always had a soft spot for this piece.
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i love your poetry...i had to read more. and this is awesome. you've got talent
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Thanks a lot. I have been reading through some of your writing and I like it a lot, I'll definately get through more of it when I get back on.
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