How Could You.

I've kept it hidden for so long - Not even my family knows
how you breezed in
calm and calculating
won me over with a simple kiss:
Full of strength and mystery.

Sweet words, strong arm around my shoulder
and a fake love that others could see
had me feeling safe in my choice of you
until our end - All bets are off.
Lured with talks of regret and reconciliation
a patchwork blanket beneath the stars
the perfect place for long conversation
[and an attack]

The hands I used to love became weapons
and muscles paired with a mask
[you became a shadowed stranger, with a heart of ice]
pinned facedown beneath a demon
as I breathe in quarry dust and quilt fibre
and tears seep out the last shred of human feeling I have left.
[not once but twice I fell for this deception]

Left me bruised, as many ways as one can
your face, a sick and twisted memory thrust deep inside of me
[despite the screams]
which haunt me still at night
ruining the security I've found with him, my someone new.
Just apologize, so I can begin to end your hold on me.
If it was possible to murder a memory I would be guilty as charged
while you sit there, with your new victim (I mean girlfriend)
completely care free
as you adjust your "belt" one notch tighter
and smile that slick, evil smile...

And they call me the monster.