Our fingers, intertwined so sweetly,
Never have I held hands like this before,
But emotion was tucked away neatly.
Right then, it seemed so surreal to me nor,
Do I barely believe it even now.
Arms around me have never felt so nice,
I should stop thinking about it, but how?
My heart to you, I will not sacrifice.
Yes, I've known of you since I was little,
But I really knew you for just few days.
Love is this big unsolvable riddle,
Within an ever changing life maze.
"I don't want to hurt you," you said to me,
But you already did, can you not see?
Author notes
Sooo...
It's supposed to be a Shakespearean sonnet. It's in pentameter-ish. But the stress/unstress pattern is off.
This is the first poem that I've written for a while that I actually mean.
Just be honest
Comments
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neeeeat.
i like it
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You wandered from the meter form and many of your lines are feminine not masculine as required of the iamb. It is a nice sweet poem, but not a sonnet.
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that title is cool
and I'll have to agree that this one is a lot better.
I have a slight qualm with your rhyme scheme...
your poem goes abab acac dede etc.
which is not proper form.
I'll have to admit that your lines sound forced to fit rhyme. I guess it's hard with such a rigorous form.
If you haven't seen it before, ask Susan for her card house sonnet. I thought it was pretty well done.
"Love is this big unsolvable riddle,
Within an ever changing life maze."
This part is my favorite, but the preceding lines seem to transition into them strangely. -
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wait, it's
sweetly, before, neatly, nor, now, nice, how, sacrifice, little, days, riddle, maze, me, see.
the a's and the g's are the same....
There was a typo, I fixed it.
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