Heroine, Nicotine, Caffeine;; none as addictive as you;
darling, you keep me panting for -->more<--
but nothing lasts forever, just like each breath I take;
another +mistake+ made just for you
Oh what a beautiful disaster I have become
I am |y|o|u|r| whore without pay
Take me and tie me up baby
so I can be [[perfect]] in your eyes for once
Oh honey, tell me how beautiful you look tonight
Another backseat ride for the hell of it
just one more ♥romance♥ full of false hopes && lying eyes
but baby, I did this all for you
I am just your plaything;;
Can you ever forgive the dirty things I did to get too you
(but doll those incidents never meant a thing)
my eyes always on the prize;; you
Author notes
Deceit and lies another romantic tragedy. (one sentence story).
A contest entry
- Anything and Everything Dirty Pretty; Options Available and Prewrites!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
375 points, ended June 8, 2007, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Candy Coated Lies by BeautifulDisaster9.
525 points, ended July 12, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Whoa.
Nicely done.
<3BD9 -
-
Oh what a beautiful disaster I have become
I am |y|o|u|r| whore without pay
Take me and tie me up baby
so I can be [[perfect]] in your eyes for once
Oh honey, tell me how beautiful you look tonight
That was my favorite stanza. This is a very beautiful and emotional poem. You really deserved that golden trophy.
-
You done with the phrasebank exactly what I wished you would do and what I wanted exactly. I loved the urgency and desparation within the write. I felt that and still do, just to get effection, therefore I based this 'character' or the person I had in mind whilst making the phrasebank adhere to thse thoughts I have. I loved the need and want to just be his and you making all the mistakes and being the dirty nothing just for him. Deeply dirty pretty with heart ♥
-
This is wonderful! nothing was over puncuated or akward && your flow was great.
Can you ever forgive the dirty things I did to get too you
(but doll those incidents never meant a thing)
my eyes always on the prize;; you
^^^^^^^^^ Love those lines. Good luck in the contest, doll.
[♥]
-
"Call me b|e|a|u|t|i|f|u|ll; I need to hear that pretty l*i*e"
that would of been really great to add in, thank you for sharing, this was a really good wtite. thank you for sharing.
much love, and keep it up.
great emotions were put forth!!
xxx
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
