The gentle water strokes the sand with fingers trimmed with lace.
Murmers a gentle lullaby, in this, a sacred place
The fragile rocks tumble around and dance beneath the foam.
They're catching at my dragging feet, so I'll no longer roam.
Light golden speckles catch the sun and race along the shore.
Drifting within the summer breeze, capturing my heart once more.
Soft beams of light caress my face and kiss my eyes with love.
Sleeping within my land of dreams, I feel destiny's glove.
It's fabric soft, it nurtures me, and helps hope seeds to grow.
It sprinkles rainbow drops of rain, upon dark hair below.
A crystal forms on every strand and sets my head alight.
Awakened by a spirits touch, I find that it is night.
Within the dark, I hear a voice, it calls to me once more.
It's asking for my safe return, to Cornwall's golden shore.
I smile, for in my heart I know that I will be there soon.
I gaze outside, then raise my eyes, to wish upon the moon.
A contest entry
- Chill Out This Summer by Aun Ali.
300 points, ended May 26, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Non Winning Pre-Write/End line Rhyme Only by piccola.
600 points, ended April 12, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I really like this last stanza:
Within the dark, I hear a voice, it calls to me once more.
It's asking for my safe return, to Cornwall's golden shore.
I smile, for in my heart I know that I will be there soon.
I gaze outside, then raise my eyes, to wish upon the moon.
I used to read a lot of books that take place in Cornwall...it seems so romantic and mysterious. I hope to visit there one day. Thanks so much for your entry. -
excellent
A beautiful poem, well written, rhyme and rhythm pretty much perfect. Lovely images created here, i can imagine it all and i wish such an event was real. well written, very well done
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Well done,
I like this one, Ros. There are places here that touch me in the same sort of way, something... ethereal about them. There are several lines that show your individual style, particularly the 2nd two lines of the third verse.
Good work! Blessings, J.
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W for wow factor
your poem is AABB rhyme. your poem appeals to the senses through touch and mezmerizes me with exquisite figurative language. "wish upon the moon" stands out to me, because as the sense of the "I" person in the poem perceives his/her environment romantically, it is almost like a dream. this poem alludes to shakespeare's "midsummer's dream" and there's a slight typo 5th to the last stanza should be "spirit's" this poem caps the W for the wow factor overall
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All the best
Another chill-out on the beach, but a different poem covering more aspects. Thanks to enter this thought in the contest. All the best
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Excellent Write!
Very charming write! Leaves one wanting to return right away back to this place of wonder. Well done, Don
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Very picturesque! I feel like I'm there! Good rhyming scheme, and flow. Beautifully descriptive words. I love it. Well done.
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Really nice poem.. well written and quite descriptive.
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its a very beautiful poem. like it.
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