old zebras
inside the zoo
prison duds
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Revision 1:
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zebras
inside the zoo
prison duds
A contest entry
- Back to Basics Haiku by azure85.
790 points, ended June 6, 2007, 53 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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old zebras
inside the zoo
prison duds
umm ok then. i think you really need to change the font. i had to copy and paste it into the comment box to be able to read it!!!
not a normal haiku's format but i dont know what the contest asked you to write so ill just leave it at that!
lol
Claire-Anne -
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Ah, you aren't the first person to comment on the font, so I figured I'd best get that changed.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting! 
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I am not liking the font used here but still, the haiku is really good. Congratulations on the Bronze here.
Bandaid. -
lol!! i love that last line... 
comparing zebras to the prisoners wearing that black n white striped uniform.. wonder what the zebras did though to be proved failures.. 
ah.. probably not attract viewers.
a good 'ku here! congrats on the bronze!
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I actually can't read the last word but I'm thinking "duds"? Good luck in the contest.
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Hi ea,
Yes, the last word is "duds". Thanks for the well wishes in the contest and for taking a swing by to read.
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Oh, lol, what a delightful Haiku and such fun. Much Enjoyed! I don't know enough about Haiku to comment other than to say that this was a delight and Good Luck in the contest and all the best!
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Excellent x2
Best Haiku I have read in the contest
I wish the letters were larger to make it more readable
I think the first line should be "Zebras Held"
Rick
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Thank you for entering our workshop.
old zebras
inside the zoo
prison duds
I really like this haiku, but I think I agree with Susie. Does the word old really add anything to the haiku and if it was removed wuold it cause the haiku to lose any of its impact? -
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When I wrote this haiku I was thinking of the old prison uniforms that used to be black and white...whereas now I believe they are all orange...therefore the "old" zebras. But since no one has caught that, I like the simplicity of using just "zebras" anyway, so I've made the change. Thanks so much for the feedback!
Best wishes,
~J.
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I like this haiku, Trista, and behind those zoo bars it would be like seeing them in their prison garb, too. Yours is the first zebra haiku I've ever come to read, and I'll remember it come the next zebra I come to see for sure!
Best wishes in the contest!
Jo -
Sad...zebra's are like a joke anyway.
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LOL This is great!!
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Welcome to Back to Basics!
Well, I am laughing today!
old zebras
inside the zoo
prison duds
This is cute, I don't know if you need "old" or not. See what Polly says, but the zebras is a cute image. Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.
Susie
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