Merely a simple distraction mistaken by peripheral visions--
Opposition hinges on an distortion,
instantaneous impact followed by immediate rejection,
the wheel spins counterclockwise
propelled by the spontaneous reaction—
An uneven distribution caused by unwanted confusion
leads rapidly downhill into the matchmaker’s plan—
The tintinnabulum remains oblivious to them.
Ensnared by the magnetic pull, despite the vain struggle,
convinced it would be a momentary obstacle,
neither expects the inevitable pulls of polarity
A contest entry
- Attraction by 2lullabyhaven.
519 points, ended August 16, 2009, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Well, now, this seems to be just what the doctor ordered...thanks and good luck
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Good
Ensnared by the magnetic pull, despite the vain struggle,
convinced it would be a momentary obstacle,
neither expects the inevitable pulls of polarity
Almost a strech for this contest
but I think I see it
Best wishes
Rick
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Wow! I really like this. What a great choice for a metaphor to describe love. I remember making jokes about that when I took chemistry. The poem itself is as great as the idea: you have some excellent phrases in here. I was about to put what my favorite lines were until I realized I really like the whole thing. I had fun reading this very creative poem. Thanks so much for entering my contest!
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success
this is definetely one of my favourites.. it's the perfect length a poem should be and is interstin and fitted with unusual words like tintinabulum and i think that line too where the word's mentioned is the best.
tonnes of motion captured
a spark indeed
i love your write
good luck and ta for entering! -
Wonderful
You truly captured the idea of chemistry very well with this poem. Great writing.
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PS, you could easily spin this into a Poe-like creepy sequel.
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the wheel spins counterclockwise....wow, what a description of the inpact of attraction and the workings of chemistry. Very creative art here. Thanks for sharing.
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I’m hooked! Your vocabulary is absolutely fantastic. You gave me a minds eye picture of being hit on the side of the head by an imaginary ring. You worked a five syllable word; “tintinnabulum” into a poem and maintained smooth flow! You read one of my poems and now guess what? You’re on my favorites list. Well done!
Love,
Amera
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"tintinnabulum" Ha ha - that's an awesome word and surprisingly it fits well with the piece.
The poem's concept was interesting. For me, it reads like the whole theory that opposites attract in relationships.
I like the metaphor you used an everything seemed pretty consistent.
In my opinion though, it felt a little wordy; as if you could use a little more imagery. Though I understand that with the topic it's somewhat hard to do.
Considering this is just eleven lines, it really didn't feel that way - you made the piece full and not flimsy.
Good poem, thank you for entering.
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