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Whisper

I see your face
feel things I know of you,
my thoughts create you as Beauty;
filling my world with light.

I whisper your name.

One day you will not love me
and I will love you still;
will whispers become echoes
from unblinking mountains of darkness?

Or silence of an endless night
that stares back at me?

A dim, dull space that swallows up my words
as if they never were.

I would speak your name into a lightless void,
it would feel the same as time together,
for even now I have no reason to expect your love.
I call to you from desire,and longing,
from my deeper wishes, my best and dearest hopes.

I am fulfilled in asking;
I do not need an answer.

I sometimes saw Beauty in things, ordinary things,
like a simple crystal wine glass;
and once I stopped and stared for a time.
Then you came and held me,
brought coffee and we talked about the evening ahead.

Now you do not love me,
and I love you still.
Your kiss is felt even now
and my lips feel neglected.

I whisper your name unto echoes,
they answer for you.

I see you when I close my eyes,
yes, Beauty.
I still see you in things,
ordinary things;
like a reflection in an empty glass window.






Author notes

Inspired by:
The style of
Pablo Neruda-
Pablo-Neruda-Puedo-Escribir

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • myrataal silver member
    May 23, 2007

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    Ah! I love Neruda ...

    I simply love him. His words, the way he said things and meant it in every character penned.

    Now: you captured that well. Moment by moment, stop loving ... yet loved. How beautifully sad.

    The sensuality of being bring to us a clear picture of love in its essence. Love needs no answers. No form. No structure. Love is everywhere. And the face of the beloved may be a shell in the sea or a star in flight, and it shimmers even in dust ...

    Love
    Myra


    • Peteskid gold member
      May 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you Myra

      for your wonderful words and most pleasing comments. I had no real idea of the passion in Neruda's works until i began to read some of them a second or third time, it is amazing...PK

  • Sandygram silver member
    May 22, 2007

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    BEAUTIFUL AND HEARTFELT!!!!

    Wow Pete !!! This is one of the most heartfelt and longing poem I have read in a while. I could so relate to your words. I could feel your heartbreak in every line!! Stunning imagery that touches deep in ones heart. Best of luck my friend. This should win Gold!! An excellent write.

    You take care, Sandy


  • ennovy silver member
    May 21, 2007

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    This Is A Classic Love Poem

    You have done a beautiful job capturing the old spirit of writing. Just like some I have read by Keats. Stunning metaphors, heartfelt words, culled together so delightfully. Thus creating an eloquent classic piece of art.....Excellent writing...Novy


  • Katie Lazette
    May 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice write, good content, very good imagery, pulls one right into your poem, to share in your feelings. Very heartfelt. Good luck in the contest.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Cannonsfire silver member
    May 20, 2007

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    This is a heartache felt in each line, to love and not have it returned. So beautifully soft. Thank you for such a lovely entry.


  • AgeofAquarius
    May 20, 2007

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    Beautifully poignant

    I would speak your name into a lightless void,
    it would feel the same as in the time we have together,
    for even now I have no reason to expect your love.
    I call to you from a place of desire, wanting, and longing,
    from my deeper wishes, my best and dearest hopes.

    I am fulfilled in asking;
    I do not need answer.

    To have loved and known love in reflection.

    Beautiful imagery of acceptance that it is better to have shared love and known it's embrace if even in memory.

    . Rewarded 8


  • Rowan gold member
    May 20, 2007

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    How beautiful. Such a poignant feel to this, to love, and not be loved, and to see the beauty of that, in the simplest things. Just lovely.


  • Nature Song silver member
    May 20, 2007

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    You see her in your mind, every line and detail of her face. Loves echos a soft whisper, her love for you is great, greater than her own being. She waited for an answer from you, recieved none...but her love is still there...she awaits three simple words from you! She sits by a window, a reflection in time waitng for love to whisper through time.

    Great penning PK...Love this sensual poem you have penned. ~Sie


  • Night Hope gold member
    May 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Now you do not love me, and I love you still.
    Your kiss is felt even now and my lips feel neglected.

    I whisper your name unto echoes,
    they answer for you."

    Sighhh...Ahhh, Poet...I think you're sadly mistaken...How could anyone ever not love you? These are gorgeous words, so elegant & melancholy...ever so reminiscent of Neruda's works, which I adore. Good luck in Chez's contest...& if the echoes aren't telling you what you want & need to hear, then go directly to the source...you might be quite surprised by the answer...


  • Duana gold member
    May 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow, you not only are a poet, but you have style too(perfect choice of a background). This is gorgeous, and this women must be one special lady!

    I would love to read any sonnets you have written, or if you haven't - to write some. This poem just made me realize you would probably be brilliant at them.


  • Nicolette gold member
    May 20, 2007

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    Soft and gentle as a whisper, like a flitting moth against the window pane... Your poetry always falls so gently on the senses. I can so identify with this poem...it took me to places I so often visit in my mind too.. Although there is a gentle sadness rising from your words, somehow there is peace and acceptance too... I still need to find that. This one whispered to me this morning. Beautiful.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Laura Lamarca
    May 20, 2007

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    This is a beautiful write of longing and like the previous comment, of desire. Love, although not expected, has the ability to be there without being seen; and is only known when it can be accepted without judgement. This piece truly captured me and held me from the first to the last word. Thank you for sharing the wonder of your pen.
    Laura x


  • LadyLavender gold member
    May 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Romantic, an illusive desire, but still an abundance of hope. Pkid, this is a gorgeous write!

    LL

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