Fortune used to favour me;
standing and walking tall
I would stride like I was amongst the Gods,
feeling that nothing could touch me.
At least, for a little while,
but what doesn’t kill you, doesn’t always make you stronger.
I thought I could do anything with her by my side;
the one thing I did do was forget that
and I started walking down a long forgotten path,
that I thought I had left far, far behind.
It’s a path, in the long run,
only ever wide enough for one.
And with that, she was gone.
I had become Lucifer and cast myself out of Heaven;
Hell is full of screaming,
all the voices that are screaming are my own.
I have become the invisible ghost in the corner,
sitting in the ashes of a broken man.
The path has taken me all the way back
to where I always used to be,
although this time it is much, much worse,
with no path back out.
The worst part is, without realising my mistake at the time.
I chose it myself and I never, ever needed to.
A contest entry
- The hurt inside by ExpectingMommy18.
600 points, ended May 25, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love by Mrs-Gollihue.
600 points, ended August 25, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What is heartbreak to you/ love reborn. by LadyKate.
355 points, ended September 15, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITE CONTEST>>>>BREAK_UPS by PersuingHappyness.
400 points, ended November 2, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Open up your old closets and pull out the 1 by Mykeee.
1000 points, ended February 3, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter All Your Personal Writes Here (Part IV) by xxRainbowDawnxx.
900 points, ended May 24, 2008, 208 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Look At How Much I've Grown by xxRainbowDawnxx.
850 points, ended January 4, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - There's a First for Everything... by Lamia.
800 points, ended April 13, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
This is excellent. The torn apart images of rage and inner pain with Lucifer and ashes of broken men...those are just brilliant. The heartache and pain in this piece just flows out so naturally it stings and aches all over. Considering the subject matter the title couldn't be better. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
-
Oh I know this feeling all too well...
-
i love the line ITS A PATH,IN THE LNG RUN.
ONLY WIDE ENUFF FOR ONE.peAC -
-
Thanks. It is a path that no-one should be on, whether self-inflicted nor through the actions of others, especially if driving yourself down paths due to self hate. But how does someone get themselves out of it, or stop from doing it again, that's the trick I have trouble figuring out.
-
-
I like how you created a sort of hell that you made for your self by way of thinking a relationship would protect you. Well done. Thanks for your entry
-
-
Thank you. And I thought that nothing would ever end it, or break it. I thought wrong. Luckily though, it put itself right again, when I least expected it.
-
-
wow... I enjoyed this poem so much... I loved reading it the whole time... I loved how you used a metaphor... (even though you are kind of comparing yourself with the devil... and its just a bit creepy lol ) but it was still wonderful and I really do understand the metaphor because it can be taken a couple of ways.... you saying that your lucifer can be saying that you think that your a horrible person or feel like you have done a horrible thing... thank you so much for entering.. and good luck
-
-
Thank you very much. Comparison to the devil in that the idea of being a horrible person is certainly a part of it, though also what I was getting at too, is that there is a strong belief, even amongst learned Christians and theologians that Lucifer and Satan are two seperate entities, ie. that Lucifer is NOT the devil and was wrongfully assigned this role by the early church, so I was playing with the idea and comparing myself with Lucifer in the sense of making myself the scapegoat for everything.
-
-
This is beautiful. I love the pattern that you used. I also loved how you mentioned that you brought about it yourself. So many blame the other partner. Thank you for entering and good luck
-
-
Thank you. Often people do blame the other party and to be honest, often it is the other party's fault, but at least in this case I could see how I was the one that essentially brought about the whole situation.
-
-
Nice.
This was a very nice piece. I really liked the line "What doesn't kill you, doesn't always make you stronger." It just shows the harsh realities of life. I want to thank you for entering my contest and best of luck to you. -
-
Thank you. I like the idea of using reversals of popular phrases (or even cliches), it freshens things up.
-
-
this poem has alot of pain but it is very well written and i wish you the best of luck but please put which option you chose thank you for entering
-
-
Hi there. Sorry about that, I forgot. Changed my author notes to Option 1 for contest. Thanks.
-
-
powerful
This poem is extremely powerful-it has a lot of pain -a pain that is still very raw-It has been composed very well - it moves and reaches out to the reader-'Although this time it is much, much worse'-'I chose it myself and I never, ever needed to'-
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
