Face down in the bathtub
Do you see my tramp stamp
The sparkle on my eyes
Smeared like pixie orgasm
Crushed against the porcelain
There's vomit in my lipstick
Don't you touch me
Can't you see that I'm expired
Tears in my mouth
Mixing with blood
I bit my tongue
When you kissed me
Kissed me like a man kisses a woman
Then like a brute kisses a victim
That's when it all fell apart
Misplaced hope, when will I learn
I know that you don't love me
If you did you wouldn't touch me
Just fucking go
We all know who you are
Please don't leave
I love you
I'm addicted to your hatred
The sex in your eyes keeps me going
I'm pale beneath my make-up
I'm sick and I am lying
This is all that's left
I'd kill for nothing
The bruises on my thighs
Hide behind garters and fishnets
But when you take them off
I'm just another bloodied corpse
Sex like violence
Rape the silence
Wake me when your done
You're not the only one
Author notes
Option three
Genuine Solitaire
A contest entry
- Life Inside a Crayola Crayon Box. by blemished irises.
1720 points, ended June 5, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - -x-Whore-x- by xxRainbowDawnxx.
550 points, ended June 20, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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powerful
This is definitely one of those poems that involves and changes the reader. It has impact and the rawness of the imagery is immediate and personal. I think the srongly-conveyed images creates this impact. By selecting and conveying one or two details you imply the rest of the image, and it works. The best example is "Crushed against the porcelain / There's vomit in my lipstick". The poem succeeds in conveying the viewpoint, implying a lifestyle and its implications, the fate of those who end up in it for whatever reason, without being preachy. I think it's quite well done.
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you over did it
sometimes short is sweet. it is possible to over do it.
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dark and .... well, I'm left speechless.
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oh wow
very deep
but i so very much like this poem
very good topic
never read any poem quite like this
-suicidal revenge-
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i like this its dark but shows alot of emotion
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I like the line "can't you see that I'm expired"-- it's unique
Very dark images here
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coldn't help to know that the last stanza is part of a song other then that pretty well written
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It's been modified. and only the first two lines came from that song, the line from the song was "words like violence, break the silence"
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Wow this is really well written I just hope it is not you! Ami
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IT's a pretty surreal image you paint...It's got somekind of odd Quintin Terintino (sp) quality to it...very in your face and shocking..i bet this girl exists. Shame.
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wow
I love it,It's a look into someone nobody really take the time to think about.
It seams as if you know a little to much about this horrid thing.
I hope this is a work of fiction.
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fuck this is good.
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I think that some of the lines were too harsh against others, and that some of your phrases like "tramp stamp" & "bloodied corpse" seemed a bit cheesy.
I liked "Don't you touch me, Can't you see that I'm expired" but most of this felt a little empty to me. [No I am not saying that you're poetry doesn't have meaning]
What picture did you use? Did you find a different one from the one I said was a bit bland?
Thank you for entering?
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shwa?
If you don't mean the poem has no meaning, then what do you mean by empty? -
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i mean that some of the word choice felt out of place, or not right for the poem.
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Please put your AP name in the Authors comment.
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ta da
sorry! It's there now.
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