sun tea
on the deck
nude beach
Author notes
A contest entry
- Back to Basics Haiku by azure85.
790 points, ended June 6, 2007, 53 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Wow, very bright background. This is good, it's short and I enjoyed it.
Congratulations on the Honorable winner trophy.
Bandaid. -
I'm thinking they must look nice decked out?
Refreshing...
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sun tea
on the deck
nude beach
Excellent! Short, crisp, clear imagery and a simple choice of words make this seven syllable haiku admirable. I like the aha moment in L3. Very nice matching background.
All the best,
Charishma
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Thank you for entering our workshop.
sun tea
on the deck
nude beach
What can be said about this haiku? I think that it is fantastic just like it is. I have no suggestions. I really like thae last line becuase it allows the readers mind to wander to where they are at the moment they read it. This is what most writers want when they write haiku. -
Welcome to Back to Basics!
No, this is fine, it is not explicit.
sun tea
on the deck
nude beach
Well, I think this is an interesting haiku. I think I would probably leave my sun tea sitting on the deck too, and I dunno if I would stroll down to the beach, LOL. I think this is fine as is, see what Polly leaves for comments. *handing him some tea*
Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest.
Susie -
Humerous, though I think adding nude beach at the end is a bit random to be an 'ah ha'. I still got my kick.
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Excellent Imagery!!
Anything less than perfect would be an understatement!! Love it! Don
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Very Good
Love the first seven words the best
Great ending
Rick
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Hi Trista...I like this haiku except in my case that first line might read "spaghetti legs." Hey, it's been too cold here in Joizey for sun-bathing, what can I say???
Cool haiku and best wishes in the contest!
Jo
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