charming outside
harmless inside
gentle
God-fearing
fears lack of control
fears loss
fears emotions
fears adultery
fears rats in every aspect of the word
fears math
a giver
a leader
doesn't follow a crowd
a rebel with a cause
yet a peacemaker
a consoler in the mist of teens
loves children
loves love
loves daisy's and white roses
loves peaceful quiet nights
loves porch swings
loves the fall crisp clean air.
hates nothing
dislikes racism
dislikes controlling people
dislikes haters
dislikes people who judge others
dislikes the cat-box
dislikes politics
a woman
pale skin
red hair
funny
yet depressed
lazy
yet clean
angry
yet silent
old
yet young
wise
yet foolish
trusting
yet gullible
but always a friend
Author notes
lol that was a task worth doing!
A contest entry
- You by Sofia Nadia.
800 points, ended May 31, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
hmmm...
this seems a little off base with what i was going for in this contest. it seems that what you have created was just list describing yourself, while i was looking for more imagery. i would've liked to see you use some metaphors or descriptive words. also, beginning each sentence with the same word (you used 'fears' and 'dislikes' quite a few times) often bores your reader a little and can potentially turn them away from a poem. you followed my rules well and i'm glad to see that. thanks so much for entering!!
~SofiNadi -
delightful to read, though filled with sadness
sounds so much like myself, lots of emotions flowing here, and you have so many mixed feelings inside. With me, its hard to deal with at times.Thanks so much for sharing this. Enjoyable to read.
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