UHHHHHH OH sugar, you did it again
those sugar lined kisses filled with lies
I choked on the t-t-taste of them [AGAIN]
Sorry, dollface.. I
F
E
L
L..
[1,2,3,4..] too many times.
treat me like dirt, call me a SCAB
{which maybe I am..}
BUT.. you never used to..
[say GOODBYE so prettily in the rain]
his lips got c-c-closer
&& his eyes connected so deeply with mine
it SHATTERED my s k u l l ..
[this is why all the pretty boys think i'm hot]
B E
C
A
U
S
E
after my collision, I couldn't SPEAK anymore
I fell alittle harder, breathed alittle less
M E S S Y hair && crazy sex in janitor's closets
[AHHHHHHHHHH.]
{OOOOHHH AHHHH, darling} we kissss we k i s s
&& you shove your hands in places i'd never dream
[mmmhmmm, sugar] your girlfriend would be pleased
[you sexy little liar]
MMhmmm, you know what you do to me
Sweetheart, breathe a little more
w h i s p e r everything I want to hear. . .
{AND THEN..HERE SHE C O M E S..}
sipping beautiful lies by the -thousands-
drinking (infedelities) from little bottles
taking all your words && shoving them in my ears
[iloveyousweetheartwhydidieverleave?youaresomuchbetter.]
&& i zip up my pants, put on my hoodie
we unlock hands, legs, arms && back to where we started
your hand in hers, mine in my p o c k e t s..
your l^o^n^g kisses fixated in my mind
I don't care if this goes on f o r e v e r...
[it's the only way i'll ever stay breathing, sweetheart.]
Author notes
This is one of my favorites. I don't know why. lol.
-Option 3- Heartbreak
Give me heartbreak i don't care how juvenile and stupid it may seem or how serious. it's your feelings and I'd like to hear them
'your tears *glisten* on my ♥heart♥ forevermore'
A contest entry
- Many Options. Come in Choose a Few by KittieLyyn.
300 points, ended June 8, 2007, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - my *tear drops* will fall for you......for..........eternity by Aquamarine..
450 points, ended June 15, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Perfect Illusions & Broken Hearts. by forbidden-colour.
300 points, ended June 27, 2007, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Say what you feel, sweethearts!
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This is really good.
I like the idea.
"drinking (infedelities) from little bottles"
Haha, this line reminds me of Dashboard Confessional because of the "infedelities" line.
I love them
This is good but you repeat words a lot.
And I don't mean like calling the guy "sugar" over. I mean just in general.
I don't think you mean to but it distracts.
"UHHHHHH OH sugar, you did it again
those sugar lined kisses filled with lies."
Maybe use a different term rather than sugar in the second line.
Such as candy or sweet or something.
You do that more but overall I really like this.
Nice job. :]
<3 -
Wonderful!
Finalist!
x
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Very nicely done, good job on grabbing the shiny on this one. I'm new to Dirrty Pretty but I'm learning from reading these...Scott
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okay im serious if you dont read the rules again im DQing you
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okay this is seriously aweosm but... read the rules again please
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You so so sooo deserved silver trophy.
Last line, last line!! ♥♥♥
It's so aaamazingly pathetic, you've made me fall madly && deeply in love will all your words, all your poetry.
You just make it OH SO wonderful to read and your words just melt into my soul and I truely fall in love with it all. You have soo much talent spewing from your lovely little fingertips, Aunty.
You just know how to make a poem so much better. Dirrty pretty really is the language you speak and it's just ssspectacular.
From my heart to my keyboard, I truely love your work.
L.o.v.e...♥♥♥
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amazing!!!!
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I love this one. Its such a great write doll.
{OOOOHHH AHHHH, darling} we kissss we k i s s
&& you shove your hands in places i'd never dream
[mmmhmmm, sugar] your girlfriend would be pleased
[you sexy little liar]
Love those lines, such a wonderful poem. Great job hun.
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Wow hun, I love these lines
'{OOOOHHH AHHHH, darling} we kissss we k i s s
&& you shove your hands in places i'd never dream
[mmmhmmm, sugar] your girlfriend would be pleased
[you sexy little liar]
MMhmmm, you know what you do to me
Sweetheart, breathe a little more
w h i s p e r everything I want to hear. . . >'
Great poem hun =] I defintely think the second half is a lot stronger than the beginning but I love the whole poem =]=]
♥
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urgh! i feel this poem! completely! GREAT POEM! i love this
&& i zip up my pants, put on my h*o*o*d*i*e
we unlock hands, legs, arms && back to where we started
your hand in hers, mine in my p o c k e t s..
your l^o^n^g kisses fixated in my mind
is my fave!
GREAT JOB
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i don't like the beginning so much, but as a whole i love this poem
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