Am I invisible?
Here I stand
Screaming
Before you
Why don’t you love me?
What did I do?
I watch you
Watching her
Smile not shaking
Heart breaking
You laugh
As I cry
I should have listened
With broken wings
Why did I think I could fly?
I don’t expect to be the only one
That you’d choose me before the sun
Or to be who matters most
Why can’t you see?
I don’t want to matter least.
Please don’t leave me
I don’t want to be
Alone anymore
Will not be Invisible
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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I hear this loud and clear, that is the most horrible feeling. To be invisible to all, that none care. Loved these lines:
"Am I invisible?
Here I stand
Screaming
Before you"
Great job, you expressed this really well. Loved it and hope to read more.
jan
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thnx! i wrote it abt this stupid gut that i let get 2 me
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Whoa....
Very Deep...very emotional...Excellent....wow!...im speachless
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thnx verry much
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thank u so much
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Wow! I love this poem! I love the emotion and the wording! Its just overall a good poem!
hearts and stars!
Natalie!
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thanx sooooo much!!! i really appreciate it!
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Hey this is a nice peace of work i like it alot keep up the good work... k?
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thats pretty good.....i like it....
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thanx
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this is so sad and i can relate so much. Gd poem i really enjoyed it. x bleeding within x
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thank you!
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very good
wow this is really good, very moving nice work this is great i hope you are doing well
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thanks!!!!!!
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SWEET.......
I love this im going through this right now well almost. I love this ill have to say that this is one of my fav'zzz...... my favorite part was:
I watch you
Watching her
Smile not shaking
Heart breaking
You laugh
As I cry
I should have listened
With broken wings
Why did I think I could fly?
Really good work and i hope that you keep it up so i can read more.
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tahnk you so much
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o my gosh this is really good and sad... i think we all feel this way sometimes but dont know how to explain it.... this poem does it all..... it is beautiful....... wow great write
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wow! thanx!!!!!!!!!!! i really appreciate it
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Aww...that's so sad, in a sweet kind of way...thank for sharing this with us, it was just amazing...KEEP WRITING!!!!BYE!!!!!!!!!!
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awwww--thank you soo much!
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This is really good! && it's something I can relate to a lot.. kinda.. right now.
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thanks!
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omg, kiwiw cuddles babe i was crying my eyes out when i read this, im feeling like this right now!!i feel invisible and i feel like u splattered these feelings on here and created a beautiful and real life masterpiece, i loved it and thank you for being there for me on the bus today, i needed it, today was a crappy day. i really feel this part the most:
"I don’t expect to be the only one
That you’d choose me before the sun
Or to be who matters most
Why can’t you see?
I don’t want to matter least"
thats my favortie part and i relate to it the most, good job my love. i love you!!
~eww eye coconut~
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awww! thnx!I LOVE YOU 2 u know im always here 4 u babe!
I felt really stupid writting this b/c i wrote it abt the guyz @ school(part. my "husband")its like if ur not the prettist skinnest girl yeah they'll talk 2 u 4 like a second but then when someone like Jen Dow walks by all the sudden they're nowere to b found!!!! & im really tired of being invisable!!!! yeah i no im not beautiful--but i have feelings 2 & (i think) i deserve 2 be loved as much as she does! GOD! im f-ing crying!!! whats wrong w/ me!
-kiwi cuddles-
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I like this, sweetheart. Good job!!! :
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thanks it means allot!
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You have a lot of wonderful things here.
Imagery - broken wings, watching her...I felt as though I was seeing through your eyes.
"I watch you
Watching her
Smile not shaking
Heart breaking"
This stanza unparticular I like a lot...the spacing, it possesses an awesome flow, and there's just something about the way you wrote it, really leaves an impression.
I felt my heart breaking.
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thanks sooo much mine was breaking while writting it! URGH I HATE BOYS! lol j/k--but i really appreciate the comment
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Such a sad situation one finds themselves in, to be really thought of very little, last, among all those in line. Are you invisible? It certainly seems that way from reading this. Sentiments well expressed, easy to read and understand what you have written in these lines.
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it certainly feels like im invisable--im the least attractive(chunky oh the glories)of my friends & a guy(one in particular) will talk 2 me & then she walks by--and its like im not there ne more! thanx 4 the comment i really appreciate it!
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I think it was really good, just one perhaps not improvement but change argh wahatever lol I just think that maybe you need something to bridge what seems so different between this stanza
[Please don’t leave me
I don’t want to be
Alone anymore]
and the last line, I just think you need something to bridge the gap?
Just a suggestion =]
I really liked the beginning though it was really strong && emotional =]
great write =]
♥
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thnx soo much! ill ponder that!
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Its okie doke =] ♥
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i love the beginning of the poem its totally amazing but got confused on the latter half so had to read it twice lol youve written a great poem here very well done indeed xxx
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aww thanx! yeah i confuse myself! he(guy i wrote about) is VERY confusing. thanx for the comment!
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Good Write
xx
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wow! thanx that was quick!
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