To the lake
Just down the block
The geese are there
In tiny flocks
And soccer balls
In the hot summer sun
The sweat is rolling
Off of everyone
And those sweet dreams
And their nightmares
Of ghosts long dead
And flawless flair
With heartfelt wants
Of what we never need
Times when air was thin
And we couldn't breath
The dogs were crying
To the dying moon
The daylight coming
In sweet solitude
And those sweet dreams
And their nightmares
Of ghosts long dead
And flawless flair
With heartfelt wants
Of what we never need
Times when air was thin
And we couldn't breath
And those demons eyes
In the darkened trees
Just an owl's 'hoot'
And they ceased to be...
A contest entry
- The Sky's the Limit by Dead Fishies.
600 points, ended May 23, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Seasons.. I want to know about seasons by abuyi.
600 points, ended August 15, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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very beautiful ode.. but is it to seasons
i felt that this poem just use two name of season, nothin much revovled around it.. well still it follows the requirement
best of luck in my contest and thanks for entering
regards
abuyi -
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hmm, I see your point. The only way I can explain it is that I'm telling the point from a child's perspective? Lol. Like I'm telling through the eyes of an adult looking back at what they thought of summers when they were younger. Does that make sense? lol.
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well yah ur explanation does explains..
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wow simply amazing. this poem is so beautiful on every aspect of it. you have written a little masterpiece here you really have. all the things which create a great poem are here on one page lol. you have a really smooth flow which is clearly seen throughout the poem, you have great imagery all throughout and the repeating stanza works brilliantly with this write almost making it sound like its a song. the ending is really effective and works well around the theme of the nightmare, so well done on a amazing poem
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I loved it. It was beautiful and haunting. Good luck in the contest.
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PERFECTION!
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