theres to many playas in this world
theres to many broken hearts
theres to many new born baby girls
whose parents are falling a part
theres to many people with hearts of hate
to cruel to understand
istead of running away from fate
we need to take it by the hand
and maybe if you actually try
to be the baby's father
then the mother wouldnt have to cry
and you'd grow to love your daughter
so step up and stop retreating
because your daughter loves you
though her mother caught you cheating
and heres to all the playas out there
ive really had enough
so heres a simple truth or dare
to let you prove your stuff
if you cant survive
without breaking another girl heart
let the good nature in you thrive
and let the other feelings part
maybe then you'll start to see the light
and soon will break your old ways
try this every single night
come before god repent and pray
as you've confessed your sins today
hopefully you'll stop cheating
let the petty thoughts astray
and maybe youll start believing
A contest entry
- Your Best Pre-write of 2007 by Metaphorist.
900 points, ended January 4, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes- Please read requirements. by StormGoddess.
450 points, ended April 22, 2008, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Wow. This is an amazing write. It's got great flow and rythme. I loved every line. Very nicely done.


-
Good advice.
A few typos line 4: "apart"
line 6 "too cruel"
And a few other minor ones
Thanks for entering. Good luck in my contest and in the New Year. -
This is sooo
True, and I could not have said it better myself.
Well done, you have penned here.
Piff
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Spoken words of truth that shall remain with us all. Great job on this for real. Thx for sharing. -theQueen"





