You enter a lone colorful room,
`and gaze along the cluttered wall.
You scan the collection- some cute, some small,
eventually setting your eyes upon
that perfect doll.
A pure face made of porcelain,
dainty, innocent, and pale as the moon.
Her glassy eyes earnestly begging,
to take her home from this wretched place soon.
She's carefully placed within your arms,
And you stroke her tiny curled glass fingers.
Twirling your hand throughout her tunnel of curls,
on the nose and lips, your poised fingertip lingers.
The old cashier mysteriously smiles,
as you pay your fare for your precious Dollie.
She is wrapped in lace and tucked with silk-
Ah, what an elegant Folly!
Later that night she sits on your sil,
Yvonne is her newfound name.
But as the moonlight gleams and illuminates,
Yvonne doesn't seem to be quite the same.
Her skin, it curiously darkened;
Her liquid eyes strangely luscious;
Her stature was more elegantly poised,
and her beauty had blossomed into something wondrous.
It was then at that moment,
that you noticed her rapid change-
that She reached out with her helpless hands,
and you watched in horror as Yvonne fell,
from lack of balance, out of your range.
Her fragile figure in seconds, crashed
to your neat polished and tiled floors.
A single tear escaped through the cracks,
of Yvonne's returned unreal frame
as stunning as the fragmented statues from ancient lores.
You wanted to weep
as you picked up her shattered blue eye;
Wanting to collapse from abrupt distress-
This scene must surely be a mangled lie.
*****************************************************************
Later on you sit, in that same moonlight,
and contemplate your obscured Folly.
You think to yourself, "How silly of me to over-react".
For Babies invariably, get other Dollies.
Author notes
My inspiration came from Trudakane. I had commented on her poem "Dolly Lost An Eye, Cry Baby Cry", and she curtly replied back, "Babies get other dollies...". Wa-la.
I would also like to dedicate this poem to not only TrudaKane but BareFeetOnConcrete as well. He was the one to tell me that Talent Shouldn't Go to Waste.
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2591818
http://allpoetry.com/BareFeetOnConcrete
"Hate and Lies"
A contest entry
- O.o Anything Goes o.O by vampireblood.
430 points, ended May 26, 2007, 76 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
It is what you percieve it to be.
Comments
-
Have I ever told you, you are the greatest girl ever?
This is genius. Remember your dolly, but it a bucket of ice cream and get over it. -
Wow, this was an amazing piece. The rhyming in this was pure perfection. Your poem told a story and was full of such imagery. Very nicely done on this. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~~~Vampy~~~ -
Outstanding
The rhyming in stanza 1 is 2 and 3, Stanzas 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 rhyme on 2 and 4. Then in 7 and 8 the rhyming is on lines 2 and 5. Finally in stanzas 9 and 10 the rhyming returns to the 2 and 4 scheme.
You are Yvonne. You wish to remain as a child yearning for the innocence and security of childhood. You do realize Yvonne is growing and becoming a real beauty, elegant a lady. The little girl is leaving (saddness) and is being replaced but you realize there will always be new dollies for you new follies too.
I liked the way the timing forced me to reread each stanza before I could go on. I really like the line of asterisks******It demarked the recapitulation and conclusion.
Improvements? The old cashier, why old and gender neutral? Why the different timings? These aren't really criticizms just questions. I loved it and I could feel the undercurrent of passion tying the whole work together. I'm a novice and all I can say is that I thought the poem was outstanding.
Tres bien Madamoiselle!
Edouard.
-
I'm glad to see that something I said stuck. You have trully outdone youself. I particularly liked the last stanza adding the retrospect of maturity that comes with growing up. We all lose things and the only thing we can do is pick ourselves up and keep moving. Even without all things considered(i.e. you not submitting anything since March), this is a truly outstanding write.
Looking forward to more,
Jacob
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