+
Grasp
my hands
please free me
from this quicksand
+ + +
Mired in muck I'm plucked
from Satan's black bitter blame
mercifully cleansed of shame
Thankful for your grace
+ + +
Your abundant
promise of
Heaven
gift
freely
given me
Eternal Life
+ + +
On loving kindness
I rely knowing You own
a vast supply.Your love shown
through sacred blood shed
+ + +
Your rugged cross
paid the cost
soul freed
mine
+
Author notes
Freed by Mercy
Arkquain Swirl; poetry form by Arkbear
syllable count
1-2-3-4
5-7-7-5
4-3-2-1-2-3-4
5-7-7-5
4-3-2-1
As always, the two ( 7 ) syllable lines
within each individual *Arkquain* MUST rhyme ~
In a list
A contest entry
- Spiritual Inspiration #1 by Samplette.
450 points, ended June 2, 2007, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hope by writer-of -poems.
525 points, ended August 4, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Real Poetry Contest by Oedhel.
525 points, ended October 20, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - WHAT I AM THANKFUL FOR by Darc Soul.
450 points, ended January 3, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poems About God by Michael H..
400 points, ended August 11, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Security by 2lullabyhaven.
610 points, ended April 15, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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Thank you for your lovely entry in this relatively new form...a pleasure to read
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Excellent write here
Beautiful poem and I so love the pic
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How beautiful and artfully worded. A pleasure to read and re-read. Words of truth ring loud and strong.
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Very nice!
I love the form, the background, the expression - everything! You know, I believe in Providence over coincidence, but I was praying the same thing before mass this eve. Had I seen this first, I'd thought I was just copying someone else's prayer. Just goes to show how the Spirit moves.
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I definitely believe in the promptings of the Holy Spirit.
So much that has happened in my life I have received the Holy Spirit's confirmation, especially the birth of my son Tim.
I'm thankful for His love. I'm glad my prayer confirmed yours.
Praise God!
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This is amazing. You've made it harder on me to decide now. I love the way you have written this.
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Thank you!
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Ah, very nice form. You did a great job here, and I enjoyed the read very much as well.
Sam
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Thanks, Sam!
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Results...
Originality: 4/4 It’s original alright.
Rhythm: 3/4 I saw the authors not about the rhythm. However I felt that it made it choppy.
Wording: 2/4 Wording could have been better and it lacks imagery and vocabulary.
Ease of Reading: 2/4 It didn’t read well.
Final Score: 11/16 Nice job, but it was lacking a little.
For a more extensive critique contact me after the close of the contest.
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You don't stop at the end of each line. You read it through. There is metaphor/imagery in the first part of the poem. It is a form poem, so every word, syllable, even letter is considered to give the best possible shape. I used a thesaurus extensively. There is alliteration as well as internal rhyme.
Vocabulary just for it's own sake doesn't make a better poem.
You're entitled to think what you want. It's your contest. Read the comment from the creator of the form below, for a different opinion. -
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Hmm...
I'm not saying it isn't good... I'm just saying it doesn't match the criteria for the contest... I though it was very nice and very creative.... It just didn't fit the bill... -
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It doesn't fit what you want. Sorry about that.
Because I skip connecting words, it is a little choppy. This form requires brevity.
Good luck in your contest. Pick worthy winners according to your criteria, ok? -
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Hello my Friend
I am shocked, that this Judge did not know how to read this gorgeous piece of Art......the Flow is tremendous, and the Theme....oh my good ness......what was he thinking?
I have not seen a better Arkquain Swirl
The message is plain as day.....was he blind?
The Flow is superb.....does he not know how to read in Form?
Gosh.....we really have our work cut out for us, to not bop some people on the head from stupidity
God bless you!
Bear ~ -
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Thanks, Bear! Again!
Love this form.
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I am glad you like it. Thanks!
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Oh My ~
Where does one start?
This is.....magnificant!
I am overwhelmed by the beauty you have painted here ~
Your Theme fits so snug inside the Form, it is as if,
.....they were meant for each other ~
OMG Joyce.....I truly am speechless ~
*black bitter blame*....terrific alliteration without losing Flow ~
......oh my....I could just go & on Joyce ~
I hope you join me in the next contest coming out for the Behrquain ~
2-4-6-8-6-4-2-4-6-8-6-4-2-4-6-8-6-4-2
You should do very well with it ~
Thank you so much for sharing this with me....I am humbled by
your desire to create Art, and pen something so beautiful to fill its' core ~
If the Judge does not see a Beautiful message and Art,
I'll lend them my glasses ~
Good luck Joyce,
Humbled Bear ~
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Nicely done on this one, internal rhyme, end rhyme, alliterations and an Arkquain swirl to boot. Thats a mouthful.. Good job, what the heck won?
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Thanks
Thank you for entering my contest. I liked the line "Your rugged cross
paid the cost
soul freed
mine"
Keep up the good work. -
Beautiful picture and form.
Love the "plucked/from Satan's black bitter blame/mercifully cleansed of shame" and "Your love shown/through sacred blood shed".
Very nice.
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This is a masterpiece of form and content.
Breathtaking.
Love and hugs
- jo
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Oh WOW! This is unbelievably gorgeous ... everything about it appeals to the senses with the exquisite cloud in the shape of an outstretched arm and the font and the beautiful Arkquain Swirl. An absolute belter! x
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A very nicely written Arkquain Swirl. Excellently penned. I thank you for taking the time to enter the contest.
Sam
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Excellent
Great use of form and incredible poem. Good luck in the contest.
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Thanks, Penman!
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A stunning arkquain swirl You are becoming most talented at these. Beautiful words expressed in this also.
Good luck to you
Gaylene
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Absolutely beautiful!
This is a powerful message. God is our salvation and with him we can be mad free. Awesome write my friend.
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I like the form and the flow. I especially like the word play. Great poetry for a great pic. Best of luck in the contest.
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This is certainly a unique form and like the last, has a presence all it's own. Lovely write and i wish you luck in the contest
my pleasure of course to read your work this evening, your spirit lies within both ~Tia
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a good piece of poetry, ah faith, it plays an important part in our lives i think, faith brings hope to the heart and mind
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Thank you all for your generous comments!
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Very beautiful message. I really enjoyed this peaceful write! Good luck in the contest.
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Thank you!
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