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The Paper Boat

With the ink of dedication,
I write my dreams
on the paper of my heart; and then,
fold it skillfully enough
to create
a paper boat, so that it may float
on the stream of my soul
until the ink is consumed
by the current underneath;
and blood becomes purple with ambition
to reach the sea of success.
And all this while, my pen waits
on the sea beach
to write a success story
on the sands of time, knowing too well
the waves will eliminate the mark;
but then, the fragrance of my blood
in the sea shall send voyagers
in the direction  to discover
my lost paper boat...

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • crivanea
    July 25

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    I love this.. But somehow when I read it I felt it is missing something.. Perhaps try expanding this more? Overall I find this to be a very solid poem with lines that hint so much.. A lot said and a lot unsaid I love ye small details you included between the line... Wonderfully written with potential to become a masterpiece .. Lovely work poet


  • laimra
    June 28

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    ed it!!!!


  • destinyrevealed silver member
    September 30, 2008

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    The Boat that Never Sinks

    Your boat will and has lead others to you, and the only item lost is the pen strokes at high tide - but make your marks again and again, for its message is worth the notes, even knowing "the waves will eliminate the mark"- lovely write

  • Topnotchsy
    August 13, 2008

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    Beautiful piece. To this point I'd only read haiku's you've written (and a one-liner) but you clearly can handle writing many different styles. This piece is just beautiful. Liked the internal rhyme in line 5. The metaphors in this piece were great!!


  • Vernal Bloom
    August 15, 2007

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    What a beautiful metaphoric language!! I’m still enjoying how you create this Paper Boat! I’m sure you’ll remain my favorite poet for ever and don’t tell this to anyone: you’re my ideal, sissy I love both you and your beautiful works

    ~Vernal Bloom~


  • nays-lil-boat
    June 3, 2007

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    very very well written, thoughtful and unique.
    i must say the biggining was the best.
    stunning thank you for your entry nay x


  • Takunaki
    May 18, 2007

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    Phenomnial piece! Just wow. This is an fantastic piece you have here. The metaphors are great and the word choice and flow is perfect. Wonderful job. Keep up the great work =]


  • second-born
    May 18, 2007

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    wow! can't believe that your poem is filled with metaphors regarding only to one lost paper boat...i hope your paper boat will sail safely to the land of your dreams...goodluck to you in this contest!

1 - 8 of 8