My body is curled up on the bed
And I felt my stomach ache;
My face is distorted on the pillow
As my eyes bulged out from crying
Happiness dies tonight –
As you left me here all alone.
My mind is twisted thinking of reasons
You hanged me so high, where is the ground?
My heart is convicted charging no bail
I pleaded for mercy, where is mother justice?
Happiness dies tonight –
With everything I have with it.
Now misery filled my room and my artery
As I was isolated by your venomous charm;
I swam on cold water to the nearby island
Could I make it on the shore or drown in self-pity?
Yes happiness dies tonight –
But hope will prevail tomorrow.
A contest entry
- +I'm a question to the World, Not an answer to be heard+ by Forgot2Breathe.
300 points, ended June 1, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hope by Alpha Rats Nest.
600 points, ended May 6, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Well done. The way you structured this added to the overall effect of the poem. Nice!
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Hope will preavail tomorrow.Agreed.THis is an awesome poem.
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wow
this is wonderful!! You worked past any of my expectations for this title. Its amazing. Theres hope and pain in your poem, and those arent seen too much in reality anymore, or in poetry.
My mind is twisted thinking of reasons
You hanged me so high, where is the ground?
My heart is convicted charging no bail
I pleaded for mercy, where is mother justice?
Good Luck(though I doubt you'll need it)
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The emotion just pounds off the screen; I think you hit a wonderful mark with this poem.
The structure is great - nice and clean, easy for the reader to look through. It's great and symmetrical, it shows wonderful craftsmanship.
You state your view and feelings vividly and you stick thoroughly to one true scene.
Very good poem. Great job.
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