Single

I cried so much for you,
a concrete rain
etching your name
on my already sorrowed face.
I glance in the mirror
and see you staring back with a look of great distaste.
Nothing really matters
and I'm drawn back only
to my heart, shattered.

Days gone by and a love no more,
memories once forgotten coming back
like waves upon a dusty shore.
Each day one more brick upon my heart,
I'm slowly cracking from the pressure.
For you see, you've touched me from the start,
and now my world, the only love I've ever known,
is gone.
You were my world, the one who kept me going.
And now with this, my grief is always showing.
The vulnerability I experience...
I'm alone,
I've got no one.

The call came at midnight,
the single destructive moment
that annihilated my life.
With shaking hands I picked up the phone,
one lonely word uttered,
"dead" in a disgusting monotone.
After that,
the past is a blur,
a blacked out chapter in my life.
All the happy memories gone,
withered away like flowers in the fall,
nothing left to write about
but loneliness and strife.

Breathe your life into me,
from somewhere up above.
I dream about your presence,
your constant display of love.
Gone with a single breeze,
but always reigning over me.
Show me your paradise,
like you did so many times before.

I am dead inside,
but in me you live,
in my thoughts you do
preside.
Even as you lie in the cold, hard ground,
so unfitting for you,
you're the one that keeps me going,
my single mantra to decide.

Throughout the months,
I witnessed all our friends
cry and grieve,
and I received sympathy to no ultimate end.
But I don't need the pity,
I just want to be back in your arms,
your soft, hot breath on my skin,
as you protect me from all harms.

You had so much to live for,
but at the same time so much for which to die.
Your beliefs may have been defeated,
but your death was exposed to the public eye.
A light was shed that day
on an issue from which many choose to stray,
too cowardly to face
the lives they consciously destroy,
always and forever, constantly repeated.

I want only to be with you,
and hold you once again.
Everyone was rocked by the loss of you,
after your departure from this world,
no one knew what to do.
But over time everyone moved on,
and I was left behind.
Left to wallow in my anger and grief,
the heart-breaking look in your face,
constantly graffitied on my mind.
People told me to move on too,
it was the best option,
the only thing I really could do,
but you're gone,
and you were the one who always helped me through.
Now I have no one,
I'm at a stand-still,
with no where left to turn.

Breathe your life into me,
from somewhere up above.
I dream about your presence,
your constant display of love.
Gone with a single breeze,
but always reigning over me.
Show me your paradise,
like you did so many times before.

The potential you held was mind-blowing,
your future was bright and vibrant,
and you instilled in me a dream of having the same.
Your wonder with the world constantly showing,
you inspired me in a way
anyone has yet to do again.
I know you're in Heaven,
a paradise unknown,
but I hurt so bad without you,
I'll never truly be grown.
I feel your spirit guide me,
but I want to join you.
Our friends all say the same,
they wish to join you in the Eternal Gardens,
but none of them,
willing to die for their beliefs the way you did.

And here I am,
pushing away the people I had
that were closest to my heart after you.
I want to be with you,
because my heart breaks every day from
that loss of truth.
I live in a world of pain
and I can't seem to progress.
I need you here with me,
my life continues to digress.
But I look at how the lives
of friends and family were shattered,
when you died,
leaving behind all the opportunities available,
all the doors open to you.
And I can't help but hope,
the same would hold true for me, too.

I said you inspired me,
touched me in so many ways.
Your zest for life
and ability to defend what you so strongly believed
right up to that last moment
kept me going strong.
I'm still here all alone,
but even from the cold, hard ground,
so unfitting to you,
your presence guides me onward,
and another day I push through.
I want to believe
that some of those doors you were ready to walk through
have been left open for me to explore too.

Breathe your life into me,
from somewhere up above.
I dream about your presence,
your constant display of love.
Gone with a single breeze,
but always reigning over me.
Show me your paradise,
like you did so many times before.

You still do this
each and every day.
And I still love you
for every little thing you do.
Watching me from above,
I feel your breath on my shoulder,
your hand holding mine,
and I'm assured that through my life,
everything will be fine.
I want to see your Heaven,
but I know it's all in time.
I want to open people's eyes,
to the way they can affect one brilliant person's mind.

No one ever touched me,
in the way you managed too.
No one could really see,
the pain underneath the surface in you.
You did nothing but give me Heaven,
when I'm surely bound for Hell.
You only inspired others,
but this was too much of a favor to return,
for people only put you through strife,
and it's for this reason
that you took your own life.

Breathe your life into me,
from somewhere up above.
I dream about your presence,
your constant display of love.
Gone with a single breeze,
but always reigning over me.
Show me your paradise,
like you did so many times before.

You are my life.