I pick the rose, thorns and all,
It pricks my skin, draws the blood.
I feel the skin tear, and it's worth it;
It's all for you.
I walk a mile in the pouring rain,
Freezing, stinging needles.
I feel my skin welt, and it's worth it;
It's all for you.
I fight your boyfriend, knife and all,
Fists of lead and kicks of steel.
I feel my ribs break, and it's worth it;
It's all for you.
I watch you kiss him, once again,
Passion and love with every stroke.
I feel my heart break, and it's worth it;
It's all for you.
I swallow the pills, the whole damn bottle,
Sleepy, swirling sights fading away.
I feel my brain numb, and it's worth it;
It's all for you.
Author notes
Yeah, this shows the less profound and rarely portrayed side of love that everybody feels.
A contest entry
- I want to cry over love!!!! by Viyanna Rosemarie 2.
500 points, ended July 13, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dying is easy living is what kills us by Starz of Heaven.
550 points, ended July 3, 2007, 40 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - X- The dark side of love - X by The Hardest Goodbye.
340 points, ended July 9, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think, and if there are any suggestions, please share.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
very good.
loved it so much. good luck in my contest!
-
This is a very good write thank you for your entry and best of luck to you xxxxx
-
Actually...
As a p.s...actually after reading it again, and I hate to say it since like I said I am entered...I really hope you win. This poem is that good. -
Wow
Despite what the first commenter had wrote, I thought the repitition made the poem more powerful. It really gave the reader a strong feeling of the love and commitment the person felt, it was really easy to read and very emotional. Actually I entered the contest too and now I'm nervous.
-
ok, i am shaking after reading this. i had a boyfriend who was in this similar situation and he comitted suicide. thank you for entering and i wish you well in this contest. viyanna rosemarie
-
-
Wow, I'm sorry about him... And sorrier still that I brought that back to you. But, thanks for the luck, I think I may need it now *laughs*
-
-
its amazing how stupid and blind some can be isnt it? i dont understand love or unrequited love or acually much of anything. the repitition was a tad dry for my taste but it got the message out to me. i say its a good poem. marvelous
-
Eh, I'm not too keen on the repetition, for me it takes away from the emotion.
The ending stanza is good, I think it sums up the piece perfectly, and it's very heartbreaking.
This is a very easy poem to read through and yes, I think everybody unfortunately has felt this side of love.
Good piece.
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
