my lot is to not
to be brought into this world
with curled and blistered humility
but rather to humbly find my most natural state
so I can live and then fate will deal
to me what I can feel
for as I ponder what
is no longer the dream of
my beaming soul's own mind and heart
I find I can't do my part to clearly express
the openness of a person in fear
and gear myself to sustain
I leave therefore this place
without the race being complete
and not replete with crazy thoughts
of lazy times when rhymes were my only measure
thus giving up the pleasure of seeking
but not eking out one scintilla
. . . of love
A contest entry
- Stream Of Consciousness by polly filla.
525 points, ended May 18, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
well done for winning the gold! it was the 'blistering humility' that did it for me, and also the idea that this stream of consciousness was coming at the end of consciousness. there's a weariness to the voice, like the death-drive, and that really interests me. thanks again
-
-
Thank You
Please see my message to you with haiku for you.
-
-
I have to agree with those below me. You really put yourself out there on this one, but you put so much emotion into it, that I felt weight on my chest and a sting in my eyes as I read it. A masterpiece. True talent.
-
ah. beautiful. such tumbling of language in sounds. gorgeous. thanks for entering your stream'.
-
Oh love this, how you make yourself so exposed and transparent. Love these lines..."I find I can't do my part to clearly express
the openness of a person in fear
and gear myself to sustain..."
This almost sounds as if you are leaving or maybe your Muse is just at a standstill.... Good job!
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
