We’re all [nocturnal fiends] in this twisted generation
We’re all living dreams in the dead of [night population]
Coaxing these [facts of life] toward us so we can never let go
Media involves us, [dramatizing themselves], giving us a show
[Cripple minded] low life forms of cheaters and the leeches
Scamming for all life’s worth [stealing other’s riches]
Store that [money in the bank] you know they won’t touch it
But what do you say when you go back, and find that [there is nothing]
Those [lowlife pictures], masks, and suits they build upon their own
Buying material things for their lives reproducing, [making clones]
[Born in suits] and a witty mouth they are ready to steal for their lives
Killing off the starving babies and taking [husbands from their wives]
They tell you [it’s for the better] you say they’ll never lie
But that’s what they say each time, and after voting them in, [millions to die]
[Cigarettes] are a known mass killer, but who won’t stop the drive
We try and try to stop such things but we voted him in [can we survive?]
Not wanting [what we have] and putting our kids into the system
Trying to take out “In God We Trust” cause [not everybody’s a Christian]
So now we look at [our mistakes] and that scandalous affair with another spouse
Knowing more about Hollywood lives while suits prey upon us in that [White House]
Now don’t give that White House [all the credit], advertisements told us too!
[No, dear people] of the world we took part in this screwed up game too
After being told so [many times] we gave our lives to them
So in this war of blame we play I’m afraid [nobody will win]
A contest entry
- Passionate Poetry by Last Pixie.
300 points, ended June 12, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My first year on AP by forever dreaming.
450 points, ended June 17, 2007, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything. by Sonofdead.
800 points, ended June 26, 2007, 138 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Cries of Society by bloved.
450 points, ended July 11, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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This pretty good...at first I thought it was an attempted at dirty pretty when I saw the brackets...but it's not ...there's more than meets the eye....
I love the play on words and the flow of the piece
thanks for entering
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Thanks, Yeah i was the one who sent the comment on the contest page out it.
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I found all the brackets in this piece a bit destracting to be honest. Is it somewhat along the lines of this dirty pretty poetry that everyone is talking and writing? Although I do not doubt your poetic ability it just was not for me. Sorry and good luck in future contest poems.
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It wasn't my attempt at dirty pretty...it was a play on words...you could read only the words in brakets and still understand the piece..but it's all good no biggie!
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nice flow and great emotion shown in this piece, keep up the amazing work, really good job here
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thanks!
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This was really good, and really creative. You used great energy adn emotions. It had a nice flow. Great use of poetry. Keep it up
mcuh love Kaydee
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Thank You for commenting!
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