.
Planting
Shumer Oak,
and Maple's leaf
under the early moon...
Dancing
the dirt
my Mother's best
like fingers on the loom...
Enjoying
the earth
herbaceous delight
with twig, and root and bloom...
Biting
they came-
mosquito brigade
darkness comes too soon!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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A Piece of Presence
I love the simplistic end stanza rhyme. It really pulls this piece together and falls gently off the tongue as I read it. The presence of the poem is strong and serenades the reader into full participation in the late evening gardening. It is as though I am there, dancing with the dirt myself. I also like the the repeated reference to the female aspect of life, the moon, Mother Earth. It all ties together in a piece about planting new life. Great job!
namaste-
TW
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Mysterious under the moonlight, the gardening continues as night falls, so eager is the gardener to reap the experience of soil and trees. There is a love here for nature that can be felt. Lovely, Presence.
Tara
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A very delightful poem indeed-I have enjoyed the picture your words have painted- very beautiful-the ,'mosquito brigade', I guess is part of the package
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Play it again....
This sweet,tender and biting bit of terpsichore evokes your very name, Poet...Presence! The foot and meter of this wondrous waltz paints, and even pinches, the joyous lullaby sung by the Mother in the fragrant cool of the day. Regret not the nightly curtain, the encores are endless...
Be evr bright 'neath the pale moon light, Rahad
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Wonderful!
Ah, Presence! It was worth every bite! AND for some reason they love me! This was wonderful to read and made me laugh! Jane
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true humour
In Ottawa we had a large backyard with a tall cedar hedge, beautiful and cool in the evening, which we never used because of those pesky insects. I can appreciate the joys of gardening and the beauty of the scene, but the punchline is the best.
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Fantabulous....
Fantabulous....sure, I've made up a new word (but I'm an English Prof, so I'm permitted....hahaha)Wonderful piece and soothing to the spirit...love the message and how it connects with mother nature...sure, those mosquitos do their thing much!!! peace & blessings always
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Delightful. I have read poems about the butterfly's mating rituals, bees, and spiders but I do believe this is the first I have read about the mosquito brigade!!!
Just wonderful...
as I have come to expect from you!
Bravo!
Marianne
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Wow, this is very dark I believe..not sure what is the thoughts behind this but it was written beautifuly..great job my friend :f
AJ
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