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whisper

 

 

 

 

now inside
i have come to be
a part of you

found my place
between retrospect
and dream

where i will remain
silent
long after
believed forgotten

as scars
are the memory of skin
you'll carry me
with you

then one day
recall cummings

while busy with your flowers

and find me
hidden there

among lilacs
and young pears

hear my voice
again

and know
i loved

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

 Do you believe in always,the wind
said to the rain
I am too busy with
my flowers to believe,the rain answered

-e.e. cummings

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 56 of 56

  • Randomly Beautiful
    April 11
    Edit | Reply
    This is the most gorgeous thing I've read in quite awhile.


  • lacef
    April 5
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    beautiful

    The scars are worth when poems like this are brought forth.


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    April 5

    Edit | Reply

    Superb Plus +

    Ah, 'tis a fine write, indeed. I read e e cummings poetry many years ago. For those not familiar with him, here's a couple of links:
    http://www.poets.org/poet.php/prmPID/156

    http://search.live.com/results.aspx?q=e+e+cummigs&src=IE-SearchBox&Form=IE8SRC


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    March 20
    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    'tis a fine write, indeed. You always express your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us.


  • Emerald13
    March 11
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    beautiful ...


  • 2lullabyhaven
    May 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the Gold, congrats also on a lovely, soft speaking poem for your reader's enjoyment lol

  • Gott ist tot
    November 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful freeverse write. Congrats on the trophy. This was a great love poem. I liked your use of enjambment here. I like how you referred to cummings, another great writer of free verse in a similar tradition to this. This was a good narrative poem, I could imagine this as very simple, evocative film.


  • J.J. Sass
    October 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I really love this one, so happy to stumble onto it again.


  • zochit2me gold member
    October 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This had a way of making me feel breathless as I read it and wanting more of it at the same time to be consumed and digested at the end with wanting eyes and serene feelings of tranquility. I love the simpleness yet complexity of your poetry;
    the hidden meanings inside your woven words. I read you often, especially when feeling a need for a lift. Thank you so much for sharing your talent on here.

    Becky


  • porksnorkel
    October 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    two words: child support

    beautiful


  • rebeka
    October 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    yes, we all think you are adorable al (see comment below) but i like reading you better than looking at you

    this is almost my favorite poem of yours. it is exquisite, like grey light early, before sunrise


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    October 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply




  • xxlisajazminexx
    October 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    very breathtaking poem that you have penned here.......

    Love such a beautiful experiance that we all go through in life.....
    such a soft love poem as this is uplifting and sweet....
    wonderful!!!!!!
    much love and respects your way...
    by the way...
    your adorable


  • Chet W.
    September 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    great

    beautiful poem, very sentimental


  • mindosm007
    August 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    that a good poem, Also good to have someone with you, by your side. Very cool poem

  • rebeka
    August 10, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this one is still the softest , sweetest love poem


  • Whoochi gold member
    July 1, 2007
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    Breathtaking~ no other words...EE would be smiling in his own majestic way....


  • zillion
    June 21, 2007
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    So what's there to say?


  • Cat
    June 17, 2007

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    the strength of this piece lies in the author studying the subject and creating his very own space along side her- with her- the author's patience is amazing...

    this poem sighs down the page
    with poignant breath-

    i do love lilac and pear trees... but i suspect you already know that

    i just love this piece al


    m


  • bengalibelle
    June 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Breath-taking

    omigod,omigod...what can i say?Even in the best of times i don't consider myself qualified enough to comment on your poems...today i am totally speechless.But have to tell you, this is fantastic and breath-taking!


  • myorama
    June 7, 2007
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    A very well deserved Gold.


  • natari gold member
    June 1, 2007

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    I can see why this got gold.This poem was very cutting edge and flawless.The reading of this has now made the start of my day perfect.Exceptional write.
    ~h


  • Heart Sutra
    May 31, 2007
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    Oh, but the background color on my computer is awful terrible and I had to block out the color! Then again, this computer sucks, unlike this poem that I am bookmarking.


  • Heart Sutra
    May 31, 2007

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    This is definitely a gold winner and beyond. This is a poem to send out for publication. I say that because it struck me as something that goes beyond the cut line of poetry, goes past the parameter of design and character...right into the field of awareness and transcendence. Remarkable Al. I mean it.

  • J.J. Sass
    May 29, 2007
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    A very deserved win!
    Congrats Al!


  • bethan-gaze
    May 27, 2007
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    This is absolutely exquisite ... very well done and congratulations on the gold! xx


  • RuthKephart
    May 27, 2007
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    I'm glad to see this beautiful piece took the gold...most deserving
    Ruth

  • Cat
    May 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    well deserved-

  • onlynola
    May 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Al, no you don't have an audio recording of e.e. cummings reading "who knows if the moon is a balloon," I have it. You gave me the tapes so many years ago. When I come across the empty box, yes, I think of you, us, and -- as with the gently delicious flavor of a soft, ripe pear -- pause to appreciate what life has offered. And, hopefully, has yet to offer. Your poetry is spectacular. Others spoke of their favorite line or stanza. Mine is simply "lilacs and young pears" Intoxicating! I don't presume that this poem has any connection to me, yet it does for me.


  • Saffron gold member
    May 25, 2007
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    This is simply breathtaking...absolutely lovely in every way.


  • J.J. Sass
    May 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well, I've got some catching up to do on my reading, and oh what a lovely start!
    This is excellent, as usual, and for reasons unknown to me at the moment the "young pears" image lingers.
    Best wishes in the contest.

  • RuthKephart
    May 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Stunning poetry. Like a soft breath along ones ear


  • Nicolette gold member
    May 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely love this poem...the gentle nostalgia, the remembrance of a beautiful love that lives on inside the lover...this is indeed a whisper on the pillows of the heart, a flower, a forget-me-not. I loved the reference to Cummings. It made me think of one of my favourite poems by him "somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond" and especially these lines:

    "i do not know what it is about you that closes
    and opens;only something in me understands
    the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses"

    Excellent poetry - thank you for posting it in my contest.

    ~ Nicolette


    • AJ Morelli gold member
      May 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Nicolette, "somewhere I have never traveled..." is easily one of the most beautiful poems I've ever read, love this contest theme


      al


  • Oisin silver member
    May 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    What a wonderful tribute a love that was worth such fond memories. It does not read like a love that broke anyones heart or at least not yours. This is indeed a very soft and loving poem.

    Excellent.

    When I read this I couldn't help think of " the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses". I thought I would add my own Cummings quote, it seemed to fit in my reading this.


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    May 19, 2007
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    *sigh* tender, sparse and beautiful.


  • truembrace
    May 19, 2007
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    truly stunning.

    ummm... did I mention stunning??


  • Centricity
    May 19, 2007

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    I hate you and I hate this poem. Death to the both of you: by-toenail-stringing-up and by-thumb-hanging.

    [as scars / are the memory of skin]
    This line sucks, as well you know. I refuse to read this piece ever again, because it's the worstest thing ever ever. I've bookmarked it to make sure I never stumble over it accidentally again.

    Damn your eyes.


  • ibsons hysops
    May 18, 2007
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    4th stanza is my favorite!!!


  • Wildequill
    May 18, 2007
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    Smooth, uncluttered expression of equilibrium.
    Bravo.


  • naked roots
    May 18, 2007

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    Profound and beautifully written.
    An excellent masterpiece...


  • mantis180
    May 17, 2007
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    This is so beautiful, AJ- touching, and sweet.
    -Ashley

  • Cat
    May 17, 2007
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    lovely-
    wish there were more than three applauses available per poem


  • NurseChilly gold member
    May 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    amen.... amen

    a man that has loved and been loved....

    gosh... almighty!!! this is a secret .... but I have to shout it out... I bloody love this.... no wonder women sigh in return

    sensational Mr Morelli


  • HaleyMary
    May 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write. This makes me think of how even when loved ones pass on, the memories of them are still with us and as long as we remember them they are never forgotten. So much emotion in this piece. Just amazing. You are a very talented writer. Best of luck in the contest.


  • rebeka
    May 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    an exquisite love poem here, to become part of someone, so ingrained, i want them to still be together in body, not just soul, it is an ache to think of two such as this apart, i am a romantic old girl, i can't help feel such things when i read your poems, the depth is just too much and i wonder where these things come from inside you, your heart must have scars al, hidden, but here, exposed. the young pears coupled with lilacs, divine.
    it will take me all morning to get this out of my head. damn it all, must you write of two that are entwined but apart.

    by the way, this has to be my favorite poem by you to date, no matter that i find it so sad.


  • heygoo
    May 17, 2007

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    What a gorgeous piece here. So subtle and smooth. Has all the workings of a whisper. Memories and time on many levels.

  • Rowan gold member
    May 17, 2007

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    "among lilacs
    and young pears",..I loved that you used pears, unexpected, but perfect.
    A very soft poem that resounds deeply.
    Beautifully done.


  • misselaineous
    May 17, 2007
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    perfect

    soft and so beautiful


  • Kendall Campbell
    May 16, 2007
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    x


  • ellipsist
    May 16, 2007
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    beautiful and hopeful

    and inspiring... wonderfully worded... a pleasure to read

  • wendymolly
    May 16, 2007
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    completely original


  • Jaden silver member
    May 16, 2007

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    nice . . . did you ever read ee cummings "who knows if the moon is a balloon" ?

    the last stanza reads: "where everybody is in love and flowers pick themselves"

    I think that was the line of all lines to peak my interest in poetry. I believe I was 16. And it was the German teacher at high school who pointed it out to me, showed me the poem from his complete works book.

    I remember also, as I read it and then skimmed through, I found a $5 bill . . . saying 'hey, look what I found!"

    brings back good memories, this poem


    • AJ Morelli gold member
      May 16, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      that is such a wonderful line, i have an audio recording of cummings reading that piece... what a beautiful way to come to appreciate poetry...

      Thanks so much



      al


  • Redstormy gold member
    May 16, 2007
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    Breathtaking

    I love how free this sounds, love is rarely free.

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