The biggest mistake you ever made
The human mistake you made
Which fools in love created
Fool number one
Pure, kind and unknowing that this.. man would ruin her
Fool number two
Polluted, mean and knowing what he was going to do
Sorry for not turning out
The way that I should've
But that leaves no excuse
For what's been said and done
I lie awake crying
Hating myself for knowing
That half the blood flowing through my veins
Belongs to...him
And that bitter taste
The after-taste of hate leaving his lips
Is easily removed by his elixir of life
The bottle that creates and diminishes his feelings
I wished you loved me as much as the bottle...
Author notes
This is about...him. You never said sorry, and I know you never will. I just wanted-want you to love me. But I can't take this anymore...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
We sometimes think we can bend our world the way we want it to be. Sadly to say we get rejected by others. One can feel the sadness in this write. Content is very good. There may be some rough edges to work out. These writes are not easy. It very good to let them out. I am sure many can relate well to this topic. It better to risk then risk not at all. Some play the what if game. Very well done
-
It's an awful thing not feeling love, in fact it's my greatest fear, that I'll wake up someday and no one will be there to love me. well done!
-NP
-
awwwwwwww this is so sad
im really sorry and you could really feel the sadness in the poem
this was extremly heartfelt and emotional and sad
im really sorry
huggggggggs -
This is a bit jagged in the wording. Sometimes the flow is continuous and sometimes it's, I don't know what to call it. I do like the meaning of it. I find it one that maybe all should read and learn from.
-
good but kind of choppy
i can honestly say that this is a nice poem, but also i must say that it doesn't flow as nicely in some areas than it does in other areas.
it actually shows a side to a real problem that people face and use to get over the hard times in their lives. it shows what alot of people think can't happen to them but anyone can be tempted by anything.
you did good in showing a sort of reliance to this affliction.
it is a good poem i just think that you could have made it flow a little better in some areas. -
A sad but pretty piece. The ending is very touching.
It is a shame how much things like this seem to happen, but all we can do is try to carry on.
-
One cannot compete with alochol - it takes over and controls one's life, and wrecks all who come in contact with this drinker too. Trying to change the loved one does not seem to help, unless they themselves want to quit, they won't, just because you want them too. What a sad peom - easy to read and understand; sentiments well expressed in these lines.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
