[Hm...another piece I'm still not fully satisfied with...like grrrrrr...]
I am the onion peelings, lying unraveled on
your smooth, unblemished linoleum floor.
And here is my record, blank except for your mark.
I am bound eternally by silver the chains of servitude.
Four score and seven years is a long time to wait for justice.
Justice is only an abstract idea.
We cannot hallow this ground; let spilled blood do that.
Conceived in liberty, for all of masculine persuasion.
It’s the North and the South all over again.
I knew Unions weren’t meant to last. We can’t agree;
You wish to enslave me, and I shall never be yours.
You have peeled me apart.
This is violation of the worst sort.
Rape would be more tolerable than this.
Oh, Confederate, confederate! My sweet soldier,
off to bloody your hands, so I may
remain forever in bondage to you.
Oh off to war, off to war! Here, we'll bash each
other upside the head with sticks and such
to prove how very masculine we are!
Oh, sorry, I'm incapable of masculinity, aren't I?
Damn this cruel, cruel twist of fate!
Never mind I have another trick to astound
our enemy by. Here's the cleavage! See?
Have you ever seen such beauty?
I told you I was onion peelings,
there are layers and layers of me, none of which
Your eye shall ever see. This then is the cleavage...
I am split. I am split right down the middle,
and I'm unsure of which way to go. For liberty,
a romantic lie, worse than that of a Union everlasting,
or of this bondage. I am perpetually trapped
beneath the shadow of this golden ring.
Call me a border state, if you will, for I'm
just hanging in the balance...
Damn the Confederates! Damn the Yankees!
Unions never last anyway! This is what's left of me-
you have unraveled me as you promised,
and left me behind. You are off, fighting some war,
whilst I am the onion peelings decorating your linoleum.
We are all damned anyway, whether we are
Confederates, Yankees, or
onion peelings. We’re all damned to serve
our sentences in the much-thought of Sheol,
where the heavy-hand of Hades becomes
the only true union.
[The ending doesn't feel quite right...]
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
The setting reminds me of the setting of "Lesbos" by Plath, with the smooth linoleum kitchen floor and the theme of food.
I especially love "You have peeled me apart.
This is violation of the worst sort. Oh, Confederate, confederate! My sweet soldier,
off to bloody your hands, so I may
remain forever in bondage to you." and " You are off, fighting some war,
whilst I am the onion peelings decorating your linoleum."
I thought the lines "Oh off to war, off to war! Here, we'll bash each
other upside the head with sticks and such
to prove how very masculine we are!" was very funny, as well.
I actually like the ending. The only thing is that the 3rd stanza seems a bit more wordy than the rest, see if you can compress it a little?
Amazing job sweetie! I honestly look forward anxiously to reading your next work, as always.
-
-
thank ya very muchly for the comment!! i'll definitely see what i can do to compress it...apparently i have to work on the compressing thing...i actually just got another idea for a poem and just started writing it...it's kinda right below...it's not bad but hey could be loads better...anyways thanks again!
-
-
Here's one blue-and-white goodbye-
fluoxetine lullaby, I am sent to sleep by the
muted whispers of yours song,
"I love you,".
I love you with the fickle passion
of Romeo, "Oh my Juliet! My Juliet!"
I am scorned, and, being scorned,
I run off into the sunset. We romantic souls
must sleep together. Oh, my fluoxetine sweetheart,
it is in your arms that I find this relief,
though brief.
(hm...wow, this I do think I can use...)
-
-
Yeah, definately post that on your page sweetie, it's great. Beautiful and sweet.
-
Adding your comment:
