Just like eggshells
in the sea’s palm
feel safe -
when your lecherous hand
grasps mine,
I do.
White pillows lay plump
impregnated with metal,
and as you kiss my neck,
I’m smitten.
The condensation
on our crisp windows
remind me of us,
and how you make me feel.
And as my scattered curls
rest limp on the sheets,
my dignity stays behind
with loyalty.
Author notes
PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT
Very raw, so suggestions are welcome.
This has a personal meaning to me. I used every word and phrase for a reason, and most things have erm.. "innuendos" for the lack of a better term.
Please tell me what you "understood" about it, or your interpretation.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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It seems to be a person or an idea of how they make you feel when your around them. But is this truly what you desire from them? Otherwise this is a great write about the emotions you feel and conveyed here...
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Interesting.
It was an interesting read, Eggshells in the seas palm, I dont get that at all, but then its your innuendo's not mine. The metal in the pillows makes me think of somebody who sleeps with a gun under their head. Condensation on the windows huh?...Heh, reminds me of high school days at the drive-in... nuff said about that...."And as my scattered curls
rest limp on the sheets,
my dignity stays behind
with loyalty." This however gives me the impresion that your lover, [whom you love] is a player and left to go to some other woman. just MY impressions on this write...Scott -
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Thanks for your comment.
"Eggshells in the seas palm" is just a little metaphor...I'm the delicate eggshells and he's the roaring sea...
The poem is supposed to be about an uncomfortable relationship. Where the person named "you" in the poem takes advantage of the "narrator."
The metal is to symbolise a blade or gun hidden, as if everything seems sweet and comfy on the outside (like two pillows) yet hidden beneath is something nasty.
Condensation is to symbolise change, and obviously the uncomfortable sex thing too...
It is full of metaphors, I don't have room to explain them all. But there is more than first meets the eye with this I hope.
Thanks for commenting.
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This is very "raw" the meanings could have so many definetions and could mean so many different things depending on what a person's frame of mind was. Each Innuendo could mean something completely different from the first thought. Thank you for sharing this with us it was very well written.
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INTERESTING
FIRST LET ME SAY THE BACKGROUND IS FANTASTIC. I LOVED THE DISCRIPTIVENESS OF THE WORDS AND HOW THEY SUBTELY POP OUT AT YOU. I DO HOWEVER THINK IT ENDS A LITTLE TO ABRUPTLY. THE INNUENDOS WERE SOMEWHAT UNDERSTANDABLE, EXCEPT THE CONDENSATION PART. I HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO SAY. MORE SPECIFICALLY " THE CONDENSTATION ON OUR CRISP WINDOWS..."
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My understanding of this poem (and correct me when I'm wrong) is that you described your marriage
Do I need to say I love the images? 
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I think I'm getting this, innuendo and all (love in the back seat of a car?). the syntax in the first stanza is off: try "in the sea's palm" instead.
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hehe
very cool write that tastefully portrays sex!
well done, deep in more ways than one
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