Agony
Bitterness
Betrayal
and Pain
Demons will soon walk this earth
and Reign
Listen you people of daylight and love
Nothing will be left of your happy home...
Follow the cries every night and you'll see
Exactly what happens when you hesitate to flee!
Remember the darkness, remember the pain
In the safety of your own bed creeps a nightmare
Tearing through your thoughts there is no escape
From the misery of Suffering, Rebellion, and Hate!
Look out your windows humans!
See the girl falling down in the street?
Look at her face, humans!
Cretinous things drowning her screams
There, in the graveyard..listen-
To the sound of splintering wood and bone
The remains of the fallen rise
To my call; now they crawl at your feet
So where will you go
The very ground you run across
Is squirming to catch you
Where could you hide?
The very trees twist as I fly
I see every turn you find
Look up and breathe in
The deepening dispair
As I tower above your writhing form
On your knees, now! Come to me, NOW!
I've deemed you worthy!
FALL!
You can't close your eyes
SCREAM!
With the beings inside you
WAKE!
The dead craving the blood boiling
RISE!
Feel the twining of your soul with shadow
There no longer is light in your mind
Only Anguish
And you can no longer feel joy
Only Sorrow
Walk with fellow Demons that share
Your Fate!
A contest entry
- Whatcha got now? by Southern Darling.
700 points, ended January 1, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Nice, but...
Nice rhyme in the first few lines. Pain and reign aren't your traditional line, which I can appreciate. Flee and see aren't quite unique, but not as horrid as they could be.
The third verse is a masterpiece, but the last line could use a smidge of editing.
Overall, it is pretty good but it isn't free verse and I don't know what you were attemption to from it as. The emphasis is awkward but some lines are perfection.
NOTE: Any suggestions for editting are for after the contest is over, not for this moment while the contest in ongoing. -
If it was for the rules that i'm sticking to this poem would win a trophy but It wouldn't be fair to the other entrats if I allow you to slip by, sorry but your poem is too long.
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