As shadows crest beyond the moon,
the fading sunset dims.
wisps of tall grass beyond the dune,
bottleneck dolphin swims.
Gulls that swoop beneath ocean spray,
seafoam drifts with the tide.
Summer breeze make the buoys sway,
sloops gently sway and glide.
Along the bay stroll hand in hand,
thoughts swirl like an eddy.
Footprints inlay the cool white sand,
waves crash upon the jetty.
Temperate waters, midnight strolling,
longing to be kissed.
In the distance fishermen trolling,
fog horns welcome the mist.
As the sun rises a new day dawns,
red skies bring out warning.
Within the deep as the fish spawns,
lovers welcome the morning.
In a list
A contest entry
- Awaken my Mind by Silent Cougar.
950 points, ended May 28, 2007, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Oh this is a wonderful poem and the imagery is nothing short of WOW... You write with the beauty of the setting sun and the longing of that special kiss... I know you will do very well in the contest you entered as I myself am still in awww of the beauty of your poetry...
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Ah , Thank you Ed!!!
Hi, You always leave such nice comments that always make me smile. I missed them when you were away. Thank you for caring and being a dear friend. Hugs and Smiles for you. Sandy
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excellent
beautiful Sandy, super imagery paints such a beautiful picture, creating longing to escape there. Wonderful as always, just want to remind ya that I do enjoy your work. Super Job -
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Lovely Comment
Good morning June, How are you this spring morning? I am doing okay. Just alot on my mind lately. Thank you for always stopping by and reading my poems. I so appreciate it dear friend. You take care, Sandy
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so very serene this is!!!
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Nice Comment
Good Morning. Thank you for stopping by my new friend. I love your new name.
Your comments are so appreciated. You take care. Blessings to you. Sandy
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Great pictures of things about the ocean... couldn't decide if it were ocean or bay, rough or calm, day or night...but you wrapped it all up beautifully...you are a romantic at heart. Thanks for sharing! Michael
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Great Comment!!
Good Morning Michael, Always nice to see a comment from you. I guess I was thinking the ocean and night and a little rough.Yes I am a romantic at heart. I love to lay on the sand , close my eyes and listen to the sounds of the beauty at the beach. Take care my friend, Sandy
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SO SWEET AND BEAUTIFUL!
Walking on the beach with the one you love, what could be more beautiful and peaceful than that.
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Lovely Comment
Good Morning Kevin, How are you my friend? I am sorry I missed you but was in New York all day. We drove in some nasty weather. Thank you for the nice comment. Always so nice to get on and see a nice comment from you. Always brings a smile. You take care. Many blessings to you. Take care, Sandy
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Sandy, my sweet sis, you know, I asked for poems to awaken my mind, and I can easily say, that there is no way in '$&^£' that I could ever sleep with you on my arm walking the walk. Smooth shimmering water lapping our feet as we trace every grain of sand. A sure fire way to keep me awake.
Thank you Sandy.
oh, and by the way, I'm just heading to take of the anon bit, whats the point, I ask myself.
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AH!!!! Sweet Comment
Good Morning Mike. I loved your comment. Thank you for that. Gee I wouldn't want to keep you awake.
I hope all is well with you. The beach is one of my favorite places to write about. I spent many years living near the New Jersey Shore. Many fond memories. You take care my brother. Hugs and Smiles to you across the Big Pond.
Sandy
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This was such a pleasure to read! You captured the feel and emotins wonderfully! What better place to escape the pressures of life and take in the real beauty in the world. Great write!
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Wonderful Comment
Good Morning Rob, It was so nice to come on and read your wonderful comment. It always brings a smile to hear from you. I know how busy you are so I appreciate it very much. I hope all is going well my dear friend. Hugs and smiles to you.
You take care,
Always, Sandy
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Sweet and touching.
I love the beach and the birds , crabs and all the other lil creaatures. you certainly captured the moment and I enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing.
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Lovely Comment
Good Morning Jules, Yes the beach is a fasination place to be. So much to do and see or just relax and do nothing. It was so nice to read your comment. How are you doing my friend? I hope you have a wonderful day. You take care,
Sandy
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excellent
Dear sandy, I am just quoting my new poem in reply. I remembered the scene of my moments at beach and your poem inspired my instinct to enlighten its creation.
Seated in the sand of the beach,
I am invaded by your memories,
guiding me for another dimension,
creating the illusion that you are nearby again.
The waves of the sea,
the breeze that blows,
the sun that hugs me,
with strength and with grace,
they pack me for the happiness.
For instants I am yours again,
and without lucidity,
I am happy again.
Oh, I do not want to open my eyes,
wished to be alone seated in the sand.
I want to be packed by the strength of the wind,
supported by the songs of waves,
and to feel the heat of your body in mine.
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Such A Lovely Comment and Poem!!!
Good Morning to you. It is such a pleasure to come on and read your poem in my comment. It brings a smile. A wonderful way to start my day. Thank you for stopping by and reading. I always enjoy hearing from you. You take care now. Bless you. Sandy
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imagery description this is so greattttttttttttD:
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Nice Comment
Good Morning, Thank you for stopping by and reading my poem. Your comment is so appreciated. Take care, Sandy
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Nicely done!
And here I am giving my first critical comment under this section. Hopefully I can live up to any expectations...
Overall, I found this a very well written poem. Your rhymes were nicely coupled, and your flow was smooth. My few suggestions are as follows:
Line 11- 'cool cool sand'
I would probably recommend that you change either the second cool to dark or light (or something along these lines). The repition seems to take away from the entire write.
The other is just to make sure the syllable count is the same though out the write. I would go though and let you know exactly what lines I ment, but I have to go to bed!
Hope that you get some other good critiques! I would appreciate it if you could do the same for one of my own writes!
Well done!
Burmina
[Poetic Bandit]
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Great Comment
Thank you for stopping and reading. I appreciate the advice and the comment. I changed the cool cool sand. It does sound better. As far as sylable count. I was never one for counting. You take care, Sandy
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A night lost in the dark.
A wonderful lost night Sandy, you tastefully left the night to our imaginations and it took me back to a time it happened to me recently. I woke up in the morning stiff as a board because it was cold and I had forgotten to take a blanket, I was itchy all over from mossie bites and had sand in places that I wished were sitting on a nice warm chair while I had a coffee. She was much tha same (including sand in the works lol) and crabby as blazes and I remember thinking how much better she looked in the moonlight, or even better again,... in the dark. I lost the car keys in the sand and after we got home 4 hours of walking later, we found that my house key was on the ring with my car keys. You know Sandy, love is certainly full of damned surprises ..... I'm glad you left the romantc bits out and just gave us the sweet stuff.
BBB
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HeHeHe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh Barry, You are so funny. You have me laughing here. I can just picture you doing all that my friend. I love the beach. I was always at the Jersey shore when I was younger. Had a little fun in the sand too. I am glad you like my poem. Actually it was going to just be a nature poem but writing about the beach made my mind wander where it shouldn't. And you know me, I wrtite what I think. 
It is always nice to hear from you. Barry. Big Hugs for my Bazza bear.
You take care,
Bless you,
Sandy
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